It's the night before Arkold's funeral… No, wait, the night before his wedding day! It's only a funeral for his bachelorhood. Alptraum has, of course, been constantly reminding him of this. Keeping in tradition, Arkold has been taken to the Playful Mermaid to have one last hurrah, one last night of drinking, and one last night of debauchery before he settles into his new life.

The Playful Mermaid
The only official tavern in Ravensweir is build right on the docks below the cliff that bears the townships looming fortress. This particular spot was chosen for it because as much of the castle that was likely to have collapsed onto it already had, providing a stable base and some unusual architecture. Much of the stone rubble was incorporated into the construction of the dock, making it as much stone as wood. The tavern was originally the Soggy Nest, but has be rechristened in honor of the new Knight-Sheriff and his Siren companion.

Upon arrival a large beer stein was pressed into Arkold's hand. Alptraum, who came with him, slaps him on the back and claims, "I made sure the beer is strong and thick tonight, in honor of your early days. None of that watered down stuff!" Now, as the pair enters the main room of the tavern, hoots and cheers greet them. Some of the faces are recognizable, such as the men that fought with Arkold during the invasion of the Twisted keep. Others are new, but the insignia's they wear indicate they are part of the town guard where Arkold will now be making his home.

The tables have all been pushed to the sides, leaving the main part of the floor clear, save for one very comfortable looking chair in the center. Alptraum gives the older wolf a gentle nudge, telling him, "The chair is for you. You're the center of attention at this party." The following cackle isn't exactly reassuring.

Arkold's looking cleaner than he has in years, with a fresh suit of breaches, fencing shirt, leather belt with sword tucked through, and a great leather coat emblazoned with his livery. "You're jus' thinkin' I need a seat at my age, but I'll still drink an' fight you an' any o' these youngin's un'er the table," Arkold insists. He glances around, grinning at the familiar faces, then drinking deep.

Alptraum nudges the wolf again towards the chair. "I prefer to drink on top of the table, myself," the Eeee remarks. As far as Arkold can tell, everyone here is male … well, except for the occasional server, which happen to be young, dark furred, Khatta ladies. They smile and offer a brief curtsy to Arkold as they pass.

The old wolf raises his glass to the ladies as he passes, then whispers aside to Alptraum. "Tryin' to give me bad luck with the black cats?" When he reaches the chair, he eyes it carefully, then drops back into the seat. "Ahh, sitting."

"Who, me, cause you grief? Would I do that?" Alptraum asks as he grins widely. He folds his arms behind his back and starts walking a slow circle around the seated Arkold. "Attention, everyone!" the Eeee calls out.

"The way I hear it, you're good at causin' yourself grief," the wolf says. he takes another drink, waiting while Alptraum gets everyone's attention.

The problem with a room of men is … well, the combined intelligence seems to fall with each new person. It takes Alptraum a few minutes to get everyone's attention; the last few requiring the Eeee to whistle with the most shrill sound heard. "Right!" Alptraum says, "As you all know, we're hear to bury Arkold's bachelorhood. It was a most noble and wonderful thing. Why, it was his absolute duty to make sure no woman was ever left unsatisfied. A hard job and not many were up to the challenge. But as with most things, age makes certain activities more difficult. So … best to just settle down with one woman. At least that way he only has to deal with one angry woman each night when he fails to salute… "

There's a chorus of laughter and snickering that circles the room.

Arkold takes it all in good humor, drinking away and raising a brow at the suggestion about his 'prowess.' He even grins. "And here, I 'ad been forgettin' why I stopped adventurin'. With friends like you, Alp, with friends like you … "

Alptraum bows with a flourish. "Now, of course not everyone here is still single. Why, they buried their bachelorhood years ago. And with their experience, well, they helped select items that you will need to survive your new life," the Eeee says. He snaps his fingers and one of the servers brings Arkold a box. Even black-furred as she is, Arkold can tell the Khatta's ears are bright red on the inside. She sets it in his lap, curtsies, then scurries off. "The first gift comes from the farmers who will live under your guard. May it help you find comfort on long, lonely, patrol nights," the Eeee says.

"May it stave off an increase in taxes," Arkold adds with a laugh. He puts his mug aside and squares the box in his lap. "If you've taken my lessons at all to heart, Bats, this should be memorable." He flicks the lid open and looks inside.

Arkold finds himself staring at some sort of odd, rubbery sheet. Unable to quite tell what it is, the Jupani has to pull it out to get a better look. It, it, looks like a flattened Rhugrhat with a nozzle attached to its side. It has some rather disturbing-looking kissy-lips on its muzzle … and as for the other side, well, it looks rather realistic.

About half the room goes 'baaaaah'! all at the same time.

"From the farmers, is it? I'll have to keep an eye on the livestock … " The old wolf shakes his head, then puts the 'toy' on the back of his chair, above his right shoulder. "When I look at this Alp, I'll always think of you."

Alptraum makes a few kisses towards Arkold, then winks. There's about a minute of laughter before the Eeee can regain control of the room. "Now, the second gift is from the more experienced men of this town. Those who have survived the path you are about to walk. They offer this as a present to help you along the way," Alptraum says. Again, the Eeee snaps his fingers. The same poor serving girl scurries out and drops another box in Arkold's lap. This time she doesn't even curtsy … she just runs off. The box has an engraved plate on the top: 'Doghouse Survival Kit.'

"Does this include a metal chest plate? I expect Ravenia will 'ave murdered me in my sleep within a few years – she's beautiful that way." Again, Arkold centers the box, and begins opening the lid. "And here I thought my beer was my survival kit."

The first thing Arkold finds inside is a folder labeled: 'Stock Apologies'. Inside that, well, are a series of pre-written apology letters for various situations. They range from 'Ooops, I forgot out anniversary' to 'Really, I was just helping the maid fold the sheets!'. There's more beneath that.

Arkold goes through the apologies, flipping through them. "Hey, I think I used this one," he remarks. A few seconds later, he adds, "I know I've used this one. I'm feelin' more prepared!" he laughs, putting the cards down and going to the next item.

Below the letters Arkold finds other useful information. First, there are the addresses of every florist and jewelry maker from here to the Draco seat. Not only that, the shops have all been rated by 'how bad was my screw up!' scores. Naturally, the more expensive the store, the higher rating it received.

"Now this is useful," says the wolf. He makes a big show of tucking it away in a pocket, before going to the next item.

The last thing in the box is a book. The title is: 'How to say 'Yes, dear'' in twenty-three different languages.

"Given Ravenia's background, this may also be useful." The wolf puts it and the cards back away in the box, then carefully puts it on the floor next to him. "So wha' others horrors do you 'ave for me, Bats?"

"Horrors? I'm hurt," Alptraum says and puts his hand on his chest. "Don't you trust me?"

"Nope," the old wolf answers flatly, then laughs again.

"Very wise of you, really," Alptraum concedes, "Now, the next gift is from a new business starting up in your town. A confectioner's shop. They wanted to offer you an assortment of their goods. They heard you were taken with the smooth-skinned, you see." This time Alptraum whistles. The same poor serving girl comes out again. This time she just runs in, throws a box into Arkold's lap, and runs out.

Arkold just shakes his head as the girl runs off. "Terrifying women again Bats? Didn't I teach you better?" He grins, and eyes the package. "At first I thought you said confessioner, and I was thinkin' we'd both die of old age before I was done talki' Ha!" He then works on opening the package.

Inside the box are dozens of small jars. Each contains sort of thick, sweet-smelling liquid. The first one is labeled 'Strawberry Tart'. And interestingly, a drop on Arkold's claw tip seems to harden just enough to make a flexible candy.

"She's running away from you," Alptraum comments with a smirk. "Only a weirdo gets these kind of gifts."

"I can think of just the tart to use this on, too." Arkold closes the box and pats it, carefully setting it atop the previous one at his side. He then laughs at Alptraum's comment, shaking his head. "I'm getting married, remember? My unavailability makes that impossible."

After a laugh, Alptraum says, "Now, the next two presents are joint purchases from Tulani and myself." This time Alptraum snaps his fingers twice. A few seconds pass and two boxes are just thrown into the room. One lands near Arkold's feet, the other Alptraum catches.

Arkold shakes his head as the box skids to stop next to his feet. "Drinkin' here is going to be a repair project, I see." He reaches down and picks the box up, dusting it off. "Now, what could this be? You two have given me so much over the years: friendship, hardship, war, ulcers … " He begins opening this new package.

Inside Arkold finds a deep red cloak, complete with hood. Judging from its size, it should fit Ravenia perfectly. Underneath that is … some very skimpy leather and lace lingerie. Delicate strapping that seems designed to push and pull everything into just the right place without getting in the way of … other things. "Ravenia has your part of the set. You get to, ah, trade on your honeymoon," Alptraum says with a huge grin.

"Of the two of you … ," and here Arkold glances at Alptraum, " … I'd say this was your sense of fashion." He edges the box away, so onlookers can't see inside. "Not that I need a costume. I'm big and bad enough as it is. And if this was Tulani's idea, I'll have to have a a talk with her."

"Now now, you don't expect me to reveal who selected what, now do you?" Alptraum says, grinning still. He offers Arkold the other box.

"Speculating is half the fun." The wolf accepts the box, putting the other aside. As he begins to unwrap it, he says, "Don't think I'll forget this when you two get married, and by then I'll be senile."

"Might happen sooner than you think for me," Alptraum remarks vaguely. Inside the box is … a sedate present. A well crafted book lies nestled in soft fabric. Along with the book is a set of quills and several bottles of ink. A quick glance through the book reveals all the pages are blank.

Arkold's ears lift. "Ah, for my book! I'll 'ave to fill this as I get a chance. Good of you to remember an ol' man's dream," the wolf remarks. He pats the cover, and adds, "I'll be sure you get in it somehow, and Tulani too. Since I'll need one manly protegee in it, well, you'll have to be a barmaid. Sorry, but Tulani has got ya beat." He grins.

"Ha ha ha," Alptraum says, though he's grinning just as much as Arkold. "Now, we've all gifted him, teased him, and listed to his rambling. One sacred task remains. We must test him and make sure he is still man enough for Ravenia, right?" the Eeee asks the room.

"Right!" those gathered call back.

"Woah, woah. I like you Bats, but I don't like you that much," Arkold insistsm holding up a hand. In a louder voice, he adds, "I don't like any of you that much!"

Shaking his head, Alptraum says, "Just keep him here. I'll go get the grand finale!" The Eee then ducks out of the room, leaving Arkold in the center of a room of very drunk men.

Arkold, for his part, doesn't look very inclined to go anywhere. He has beer, and he has a seat. These are two things he values, and together they're too good to pass up. So, he just reclines and looks comfortable.

Somewhere behind the crowd, the sound of a tambourine and cymbals turns into music of a sort, along with a bongo drum for rhythm. A pair of white, gauze-clad arms snake over Arkold's shoulders from behind, and the hands reach under his shirt to brush his chest for a moment before withdrawing.

"This had better not be you, Bats," Arkold says as he eyes the hands. Still, he doesn't make any effort to actually move away. "Or Tulani. She's like a daughter to me – Gods forbid my daughter be anything like I am."

Coming back into the room, Alptraum sees the 'entertainment' has already arrived. He whistles, grins, and leans up against one of the support pillars of the room, content to watch for the moment. the rest of the room also gets quiet for a moment, then lets out a few hoots and whistles as well!

Resting one hand on Arkold's right cheek, the dancer comes around his left side. It's Mave, the Yodhinala! And she's wearing… well, some colored cottony gauze scarves, by all appearances. She leans into bump noses with Arkold. "You mistake me for a man or a child, Arkold?" she asks.

"You never know with those two," Arkold insists. He then grins, saying, "Good to see you again, Mave, and as finely dressed as ever I see."

"You like it?" Mave asks, spinning in time to the music, and unraveling one of the scarves as she goes. She faces Arkold again, and snaps the scarf tight between her hands, rolling it into a rope. "Then I should give it to you!" she says, and brings the scarf down on one of the chair arms, wrapping it around Arkold's wrist and tying it down securely.

"You know I like everything you can give me, Mave," the old wolf says with a distinctly 'wolfish' grin. He glances at his hand, but doesn't resist.

Mave continues her striptease, occasionally letting Arkold hold one end of a scarf in his teeth as she unravels it. Each shed piece is used to further secure the wolf into his chair though. When Mave is down to just two, she uses the top one to cover Arkold's eyes. "I am hardly a proper temptation," she whispers, although the crowd might disagree. "So I leave you to my new Sylvanian acolyte, who is a young and nubile thing." And then Mave is behind Arkold's line of sight again, and the scarf-blindfold momentarily hides the arrival of the new dancer before being pulled off by the retreating Yodhinala.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Arkold remarks just before the blindfold slips away.

As the blindfold falls away, Arkold is greeted to the sight of a white-furred, young, and lithe Eeee kneeling before him. With deliberate and graceful movements, she reaches up and slides her golden-blonde hair back and offers Arkold a playful smile and twinkling blue eyes. Like Mave, she's dressed only in gauze-like scarves, letting Arkold see quite a bit. Without a word, she rolls up to her knees, then stretches forward and ever so gently places her hands upon his legs. The young Yodhinala slides her arms forward slowly. As she arches forward, Arkold gets a rather good look at a trademark aspect of a Yodhinala uncommon to Eeee … she has a rather nice, if a it small by Jupani standards, chest.

"See, now, I always knew you had good taste Mave," the wolf says with a grin. He makes a bit show of leering at the young woman, trying to nip at her when she gets close. After a bit of play, he asks, "Is she one of my presents? If so, it's exactly what I wanted."

The young girl goes 'tsk tsk' after Arkold tries to nip her ears. She reaches up and taps his nose, too. That hand then cups under Arkold's chin where it tickles lightly, then traces her claws slowly down his neck and then down his chest. She tilts her head sideways slightly, offering Arkold a bat of her eyes as she slowly eases to her feet.

"Be careful what you wish for, old man," Alptraum snarks from where he leans against the pillar.

"I don't think she'll fit in a box, but I appreciate this gift none-the-less," Arkold considers aloud. Glancing at Alptraum, he grins all the wider. "You've seen what happens when I wish for anythin', Bats. It's always a good ride, even if it's not always a good time."

The young Eeee twirls away from Arkold, her scarves rippling and dancing in her wake. She then slowly circles Arkold, each step graceful and sure. With each circle, one of her scarves she wears flutters to the ground, revealing more and more of the shapely young woman. On one of her passes, she even passes by Alptraum and draws her fingers along his cheek.

"Uh oh, Bats, better be steady or our Lady will have your head – and mine for bein' party to this," the old wolf mock-warns.

"Eep!" the black bat squeaks. "I hope you're around when it's time for my bachelor party," he comments, waggling his eyebrows comically.

Circling in, the now mostly naked girl slides into Arkold's lap, making a point to wiggle just right as she settles in. Her hands slide under Arkold's shirt as she runs them through his chest fur.

"Rest assured, everyone, I'm still quite armed," the wolf says as the young woman squirms into his lap. His tail wags against the chair, as he leans back and enjoys the show.

The Yodhinala draws her fingers down, lightly raking her claws against Arkold's chest as she draws her hands free. They come up to cup Arkold's cheeks and there she pets lightly. The small, playful, smile never leaves her face.

"Armed, but immobilized," Alptraum points out. "Well, your limbs are."

After a considering tilt of his head, Arkold remarks, "She has your smile, Mave." Turning his head to glance at Alptraum, he replies, "It's all the weapon I really need, you see."

The Yodhinala in Arkold's lap gently pushes Arkold's muzzle so that she once again faces her. She makes a slow, deliberate, show of removing the last scarf she wears. She runs it lightly across the top of Arkold's muzzle, then in a show of graceful dexterity, she wraps it around his muzzle and ties it into a bow. Maybe she prefers the strong, silent, type?

"Mmmmph?" Arkold's ears wiggle around like a startled Savanite's. Unable to really do anything, he just continues to watch – not that he'd want to do much else.

"Why didn't I ever think of that to shut you up on the road?" Alptraum asks, and there's a lot of guffaws from the crowd.

Arkold eyes Alptraum but, being muted, can't exactly say anything about it.

The Yodhinala now leans close and Arkold can feel her chest pressing against his. Her muzzle lightly touches the side of his as she slides her check along. Arkold can feel the light touch of a tongue against the ridge of his ear … and then in a very Alptraum voice, he hears 'her' say, "But, I thought you didn't like me like in this way… " As 'her' head draws back, Arkold can, just for a moment, see the blue of her eyes ripple silver. And with a characteristic waggle of 'her' brow, something Arkold quite recognizes … 'she' slides off his lap. 'She' waggles 'her' fingers at him, then blows a kiss before slinking out of the room, hips sashaying as 'she' goes.

Arkold blinks several times, then he has to lean over and look into his beer mug, as if checking for any strange chemicals.

With a grin, Alptraum comes over and unties Arkold's muzzle.

"Well. I think maybe I'll curb my drinking," the wolf remarks. He looks between 'Alptraum,' the other Alptraum, and back again. Then he just shrugs. "Naw."

"Curb your drinking?" Alptraum asks with a laugh, than sits in Arkold's lap and gives him a big wet sloppy kiss on the muzzle!

"Ack!" The wolf tries to wriggle away, but, of course, is still tied up.

"Well, there's a sight. Me kissing you," Alptraum remarks as he walks through the door. "Can't say it exactly does much for your manly reputation, Arkold." Boy he's grinning fangily as he adds, "Gotcha."

"Hey if this ruins my reputation, what does it do for your? No one's ever goin' to tell me I make for a hot woman." The wolf laughs, then eyes the Alptraum in his lap, before glancing at the new Alptraum. "You should consider making that change permanent, it'd be easier to put up with you!"

The bat in Arkold's lap licks its lips after the kiss, and then shifts into the form of a certain naked blue dragoness. "I wish I had a camera," Kaira comments. "And I'm glad you're hands are tied right now, too."

"And now you can also say the last kiss you had before marriage … was with a guy," Alptraum comments before breaking into laughter, along with the rest of the room. "What an end to your grand conquests, eh?" he adds when he reaches the wolf and pats his shoulder.

The wolf smirks a moment, the leans over and kisses Kaira full on the lips! His tail tickles hers!

Alptraum almost dies laughing. Well, he almost falls over laughing, anyway.

"Hah, knew you should have tied his head down too!" the dragon says, and then winks at Arkold and starts to turn transparent. "See you at the reception," she says as she fades away.

Once Alptraum recovers, he starts untying Arkold. "Thanks for being a good sport," he tells his friend as the scarves fall to the floor. "You had to know I was going to make this memorable," he adds with a playful grin.

"Have some cake, it'll be great – I spen' three hours helpin' Ravenia pick one. Three hours. It will be amazing," Arkold bids Kaira just before she goes. Now, he looks to Alptraum and says, "I did know, yeah. I also suspected you'd try to kiss me, and I was right!"

Alptraum wraps a scarf around Arkold's muzzle again, but doesn't tie it this time. "Oh, don't flatter yourself. I have standards," he teases as he draws away. "Okay! Well, that's it for the entertainment portion of the show. So, drink up, talk, laugh. Make this a night to remember. After all, Arkold is about to start on the greatest adventure of his life. May the Gods have mercy on his soul!"

"It's also a night to forget, let the kegs flow – this is a ruling from your great lord!" The wolf stands, wobbles, then flops back into his seat. "Who will rule from right here! I'm done travelin' aroun', let the ale come to me!"