Being the overlord of your own miniature Universe has its pluses and minuses. On the good side, you're the boss and call the shots. On the bad side, you're the boss and everyone complains to you. From the high-elves demanding that their echo be moved three inches to the right so they do not have to smell the Dark Elves ritualistic barbecues, or the nastier races always trying to find a way to move themselves up on the release list or get off the oblivion list, Kaira rarely has a free moment to just sit.

It doesn't help that her 'partner' and as much as it bothers her boss, the erstwhile Alptraum, summons her at inopportune times. Not that there is ever a good time but he often manages to hit the really bad times. He's a mostly-mortal and means well, but still. The boy needs to learn tact when dealing with dragons. The twit just summoned her an hour or so to talk with a demon.

And then there is the second thing he does that makes her scales itch:  Appearing inside the mini-verse and not coming directly to her. He just doesn't seem to understand it is dangerous in here and he shouldn't wander about without an escort. Yes, they can't hurt him, but it doesn't mean they can't affect him.

In any event, it appears he just made one of his forays into the realm because she can feel his distinctive 'cool' presence. For a moment, there's a twinge of draconic paranoia that he may have gone to see Vorgulremik again without telling her. He was obviously annoyed earlier in the day and who else might he come in here to complain to? What if he's working out a deal with that monster?

A quick probe helps calm that fear; he's nowhere near the echo that contains Vorgulremik. In fact, he's in one of the echoes that Kaira herself build, an echo of an amusement park her creator had imprinted on her memory. So one paranoia swaps for another. Maybe he has found an ally in one of those elves he seems to have become fond off! How dare he, after all, she is much better than any elf could ever be! She'll go give him a piece of her mind that, that, weirdo elf-loving bat-thing!

Aha! There he is. He's sitting at a table near the entrance to the miniature golf course. His feet are up on the table and he's leaning back, eyes closed. Why the twit might be napping! What, did he appear in here just to make her paranoid? Oooo. Under his feet is a thick tarp covering well, a bunch of lumpy somethings.

"Alptraum," Kaira barks, coming to stand at the Eeee's feet. She doesn't glower though. That would be betraying a weakness. "Please tell me you didn't sell your soul to that… creature."

"Don't be silly. I gave away my soul a long time ago," Alptraum remarks as one silvery eye cracks open. "To a woman named Rosalind Draco. That was Azrael, Mortimer's semi-father and teacher … and the supposed expert who could repair the damaged heart. He also turns out to be some sort of a demon that swiped a Khatta's body when the Khatta fell to the desire of power."

"He scares me," the dragon admits, sitting down at the table. "When you called, I looked through the orb and only saw you and the room. He was completely masked, until I was already out there in a spirit-body."

"He's old. I rather imagine he learned how to conceal himself lest be obliterated a long time ago. He's at the minimum older than the necromancer wars, perhaps going back to Olympia," Alptraum notes, "Not that I trust much of what he told me. But I have little choice in the matter, since I need what he knows. He hasn't asked for much … yet. A flask with a dragon on it and some other thing I forget the name of in the possession of someone called Doctor Twig."

"He said he could heal the crystal heart though?" Kaira asks, still frowning.

"There was vague implication he has met the Barsunala spirit before, and he did know Muriavan before he became he undead shadow. In fact, he knew the woman who killed Muriavan … and that woman scares him," Alptraum notes, "And yes, he did say that."

"But I sense that he didn't say what it would cost you, right? the dragon asks. "And… did you touch him at all?"

"No, I didn't touch him. Given what he is, I have a feeling my touch, at least from my left hand, might be lethal to him," the bat notes. "And no, he didn't say what anything would cost. I did ask."

Kaira sighs. "I hate it that you have deal with people like that," she notes. "And why in the world were you talking about possession?"

"Because I was trying to figure out what he was," Alptraum notes. "And to understand the long-term effects because, well … I'm possessed already."

"You are a completely different case," Kaira points out. "The Barsunala isn't even sapient, and Muriavan was… well, a shadow of his former spirit."

"So I'm only slightly disgusting instead of completely disgusting?" Alptraum asks, brow arched a bit.

"Your possessions are benign and don't affect your mind," Kaira claims. "It's like having freckles versus melanoma… "

"You're certain they don't affect my mind?" Alptraum asks, "What about all the weird dreams?"

"You never had weird dreams when you were a child then?" Kaira asks in reply. "Dreams don't count. Eating poorly-spiced fish can give you weird dreams."

"How would you know for certain?" Alptraum asks, "You never had a childhood."

Kaira sniffs. "The 'weird dreams' are just a manifestation of one of the powers of the Barsunala," she notes, a bit more quietly. "You could control them, if you really tried to get a grip on those abilities more."

"And there is the problem. Delving into the abilities is a double-edged blade. What if I end up twisted?" Alptraum points out. There's a pause as the bat eyes Kaira. "You sound like a worried girlfriend," he notes.

"I do worry," Kaira points out. "And you just need to be careful is all. The danger of becoming twisted lies in letting the spirits influence you, true. But any power you master becomes yours to keep. Alptraum's power, not the Barsunala's."

"There's something else to worry about, you know," Alptraum says, "If I do happen to be killed, Azrael or one of his students would be next in line to take over assisting you."

"I wish he hadn't seen me at all," Kaira notes. "What if he asks you for the dagger in exchange for healing the heart? Or to use it to accomplish some nefarious goal? I know why you're trying to fix Mel, and can't expect you to really balk at such requests. It's why you shouldn't let a demon know too much about what you desire."

"I can always counter his requests by pointing out I could obliterate him," Alptraum notes, "I'm not about to hand over the dagger to him or use it in some evil manner. I barely use it now to do what you want me to do."

"Still… I prefer having you for a master," Kaira notes, and nudges the covered bundle with her tail. "You don't seem as mad at me as I expected you to be."

"Oh, I'm still annoyed with you for keeping secrets from me," Alptraum notes, "And that can only be solved one way. Such affronts to honor require a duel." His toe-claws hook into the blanket and through creative use of his wing and arm muscles, Alptraum manages a handstand that pulls off the cover, then flips over to his feet and adds, "Choose your weapon."

Laid out on the table is the most ridiculous array of putters Kaira has ever seen. One looks like a clown shoe, another looks like Vorgulremik's head, save for the bright red clown nose on the front, and yet another looks like a pink flamingo. Sure, there are some ordinary ones, but they're rather overshadowed by the silly ones. Next to the clubs is a box filled with golf balls in a myriad of colors and even patterns, from polka-dots to tartan plaid.

The dragon chooses the flamingo and the plaid ball, while raising her brows. "Secrets? Me?"

"You and your escape plan," Alptraum notes as he pulls out his club from under the table. The head is disturbingly bat-shaped, complete with googly eyes and fangs. He selects a silver ball and juggles it single-handedly. "The rules are simple. By the end of the game no one can walk away mad. The loser also has to do whatever the winner wants," he explains. "Within reason, of course."

"I wanted to cut that thread of discussion off," Kaira notes, then nods to accept the rules. "In the future, you should not let anyone know that you desire something like that. It can be used against you. I do have a plan, but… I really can't discuss it right now. The time isn't right, and there are things I'm still working out, and it requires certain other things to be in place. You should just trust me and not worry about it."

"Then you should have told me you were examining options earlier, instead you made me look like a moron," Alptraum points out and thrusts his club in Kaira's direction, "Secrets. And the first shot is to you."

The bat then turns and walks towards the course. The first hole looks simple really, a straight shot to the hole. No bends, no hills; just a bunch of gnomes that pop up at random along the path. Wait, gnomes? Well, they sure look like gnomes; they even have pointy hats. Thankfully they look like statues and just pop up out of concealed 'trapdoors' in the path. So … the dragon's fanny is in no danger of being grabbed. By gnomes, anyway.

The dragon sets her ball down and tries to figure out the gnome-timing before hitting the ball with her flamingo.

The timing is … well, it seems random. It's probably best to hit as one of the gnomes is going down.

The club connects … and makes a rather loud squawk in the process! The ball rolls down the lane, narrowly missing the nefarious gnomes of knockoff. It looks like it might even go in the hole … except a gnome pops up at the last minute and vaults the ball over the hole. It lands on the other side. Oh well, at least it'll go in the hole with the next hit.

Kaira steps aside with a pleases look on her face. "Your shot. And I promise I'm not keeping any nasty secrets from you."

One of the high-elves that Kaira almost doesn't recognize walks up after Kaira hits. She's dressed in a frilly pink poodle skirt and has her hair done up in a huge beehive. "Would you like anything to drink?" she asks the dragon through clenched, angry, teeth. It's then that full recognition strikes her, this is one of the elves that was 'punished' by Verminous not too long ago. She's looking decidedly untentacly.

Alptraum comes up to the lane and sets down his ball. He lines up the shot and peers down the ally, also trying to time the hit just right…

"Nice hair," Kaira comments, and orders an iced-tea.

Alptraum's putter connects and his lets out a loud Mwahahaha!, a-la stereotypical vampires. The ball glides down the lane, misses every gnome, and neatly drops into the hole.

"Lucky shot," Kaira mutters, and goes to the green to line up her next shot.

"I hate you," the elf tells Kaira … then roller-skates off to get the tea.

"She's your new secretary," the bat notes smugly as he saunters off the lane with his club resting on his shoulder. "She had the choice of staying as Verminous' servant, or being your secretary and doing whatever you told her to do. I'm not quite sure she chose wisely… "

"Hmmm, I'll have to inspect that tea then just to be safe," Kaira notes, and taps the ball.

The second shot rolls around the rim of the cup slowly and looks like it's dangerously close to missing again, even if it was only a few inches from the hole … but thankfully it does finally drop in. The game starts with Alptraum 1, Kaira 2.

"Elves are sure a complaining lot," Alptraum notes, "I've had to wear much worse than that when I've lost bets." The bat heads to the next hole, which has a loop-de-loop track the ball has to get through to reach the hole on the other side.

"What are you going to ask me to do if you win?" Kaira asks the bat while bending down to retrieve her ball.

"I haven't decided yet," Alptraum answers.

"And your shot again, unless you wish me to go first this time," he adds.

Eyes the hole, and then graciously says, "You should go first this time, master."

"I'm not your master," Alptraum notes as he sets down the ball and lines up the shot with the loop.

Alptraum's shot is solid (and the club still does its mwahahah!). The ball cleanly rolls through each loop and out the other side. It overshoots the hole, though, and ends up about a foot past it.

"Nice shot," Kaira says, surprised it made it through the loop the first time. But at least it gives her an idea of how hard to hit the ball.

"I'm your partner," Alptraum adds as he steps out of the way. "Even if I could, I don't command you to do anything."

"That is how I know you aren't corrupted yet," Kaira points out, and lines up her shot. She wiggles her tail a bit before putting bird-skull to ball.

"Your butt sways nicely when you wiggle," Alptraum comments as he leans a bit to the side to watch.

Squawk! goes the club and away goes the ball. It sweeps through the loop and heads straight for the hole. It stops right on the lip and teeters there. Though Kaira can't see it, Alptraum flicks his wing a bit. The mulch lining the course stirs a bit from the breeze … and Kaira's ball drops neatly into the hole.

"Hah, we'll be even now," the dragon crows, as she rests the flamingo against her shoulder.

"So we will. What will you have me do if you win, hmm?" the bat asks as he heads to sink his ball. As he's lining up, the elf returns with the iced-tea. It even has a colorful mini-umbrella in it.

Much like Kaira last hole, Alptraum's put runs a ring around the lip of the hole. It wobbles … then finally drops in. "Three to three," Alptraum declares.

Kaira carefully sniffs the tea while regarding the elf. "I may have you spank my secretary, depending on how this tastes," she comments.

The elf sniffs loudly at that comment. The tea smells like tea, amazingly enough. Perhaps a bit sweet, but nothing that hints at poisoned.

"You may go clean out the grease traps or something now," the dragon says to dismiss the elf.

Alptraum heads to the next hole … a dreaded windmill. The blades of the windmill look like big, beefy, arms. One of the arms seems to have a toy knight hanging from it by his lance.

The elf roller-skates off, muttering something about how dragons just delight in abusing elves.

The dragon can't help but snicker at the sight. "Now which of us is Don Quixote and which is Sanjo Panza," she mutters. "Shall I go first this time?"

"I wonder about the stories that inspired that," Alptraum comments as he stares at the strange windmill. "Oh, you go first," he answers.

Lining up her shot and doing her 'lucky wiggle', Kaira watches the arms and then makes her shot.

Squawk! and away goes the ball. It almost makes its way through the hole in the windmill, but one of the arms catches the trailing edge of the ball. The ball careens off-course in the hole and makes several bangs before it exits the other side. It stops a good two feet from the hole.

"Well, got it through at least," Kaira comments, and steps aside for Alptraum.

"Though you only met him briefly, did you get anything from Azrael?" Alptraum asks as he sets his ball down and lines up. "I felt nothing special about him. No presence. Nothing like talking to the Countess, you, Vorgulremik, or even Mave. He mainly seemed like an old jerk. Sort of like ol' Gerartt from my gypsy tribe. The proverbial old guy who sits around and complains how the young has it easy now and when they grew up how they had to eat shards of glass and endure torture all day and useless crap like that."

Mwahaha! and away goes Alptraum's ball. It cleanly splits between two of the blades and enters the passageway without incident. It exits the other side and heads right towards the hole. It may not have enough ooph behind it, though … and sure enough it stops right on the lip of the hole. "Well Dagh, I was robbed!" the Eeee complains.

"He hides his aura," Kaira says. "I didn't sense anything from him at all, and he kept a poker face up whenever he looked at me."

"You're closer, so you may as well drop that putt," the dragon points out.

"He claims to have created the Reapers, so in theory isn't all bad," Alptraum notes as he does go and sink that putt. A light tap elicits a 'squeak' and the ball drops into the hole.

"You can do good deeds for an ignoble cause too," Kaira points out, going to her farther-out ball. "Vorgulremik has been helpful, for example, now hasn't he?"

Oooh, that was ugly. The ball wobbles and rolls badly. It even stops right on the lip of the hole, taunting Kaira. Alptraum smirks and again flicks his wing out of view … and the ball teeters into the hole.

"Hmmm," the dragon says, and then snaps her fingers. "I forgot the wiggle, that's it."

"On some things yes, on others, no. He has repeatedly tried to get me to give into my, ah, baser urges," Alptraum notes.

"Well, I've seen you express some of them and can't really say they're evil," Kaira notes with a grin.

The next hole looks 'fun'. It's a series of angled blocks that the players have to bounce their ball off of in order to reach the hole. As Alptraum drops his ball, he comments, "It isn't just those kind of urges. He wants me to devour and dominate."

"Well, devouring… is iffy," Kaira admits.

AIE! goes Alptraum's club and the Eee's ball goes wildly off-course. It hits one of the blocks and comes straight back … then stops in the exact same spot he hit from. Alptraum stares at the ball. "I hate you," he tells it.

"There is only one kind of devouring I do that involves girls," Alptraum remarks as he steps aside and lets Kaira hit now. "And it isn't the kind he wants me to do."

Kaira sets her ball and eyes the course. After a moment of trying to plot things out, she just shrugs and gives the ball a whack.

Even without the lucky wiggle, Kaira's ball navigates the blocks. It stops about a foot from the hole.

"Go ahead and sink that," Alptraum notes.

The dragon does her wiggle all the way to the green, and taps the ball the rest of the way in.

"You're gloating," Alptraum comments as he steps up again and sets down his ball. This time he wiggles his butt in mimic of Kaira, (only the Eeee had to substitute in a tail made of shadow to do it!), and whacks the ball.

Much better! Alptraum's ball navigates the blocks and stops about eight inches from the hole. He saunters up and sinks it. "You're ahead by one," the Eeee grumbles.

"One is all it takes," Kaira says, collecting her ball and heading for the next hole.

"I used to think that, but my hand got tired," Alptraum quips as he follows. The next hole is … some sort of castle. The trick to this one is getting the ball across a drawbridge that raises and lowers on random intervals.

Kaira decides to go first, and watches the drawbridge to see if it really is random. This requires more than wiggling, so she does a little belly-dance first as well before making her putt.

Squawk! goes the club … and Kaira realizes she hit it too hard. Not only that, but she timed it wrong! Her ball reaches the drawbridge right as it flips up. This knocks the ball up into the air. It whacks loudly against the princess figurine who was dangling out of the tower window. As the figurine falls out of the tower … the ball arches back and lands neatly in Kaira's cleavage.

Alptraum bursts out laughing! He's laughing so hard he falls backwards into one of the bushes!

"That has to count for something," Kaira notes, as she fishes out the ball. "I got the princess, after all."

"Why do dragons have a vendetta against princesses?" Alptraum wheezes in laughter as he climbs out of the bush.

"They always have these huge birthday parties and never invite the local dragons," Kaira notes. Then she sticks the ball back into her cleavage and rubs it around some more. "For luck," she explains.

"That's why I do that too," Alptraum claims with a grin. He heads to the lane and lines up his shot now.

Mwahaha! goes the club … and the ball slams into a closed drawbridge, then rolls back a foot. "Drat," goes the bat.

"At least it didn't go after your other balls," Kaira comments.

Alptraum heads over and tries to send his ball through the door. H times it as poorly as Kaira did! And it's funny that Kaira makes that comment … because on the upswing of the drawbrigdge it sends the ball directly into Alptraum's, ah, happy place. The Eee stands there for a moment, squeaks out " … ow … " then tips over.

"Ack!" Kaira yelps as she rushes over, and tries to get Alptraum's pants off. "Secretary!" she calls out. "Bring ice! Or at least a snow cone!"

The secretary skates over and drops a glass of ice right on Alptraum's injured (and now exposed) area, then skates off. This doesn't do much for making the bat feel any better as he curls up from the impact! "Now I see why dragons attack castles," the Eeee complains.

"Okay, she will get some punishment for that," Kaira promises, and applies the spilled ice a bit more gently. Only then does she think to ask, "It's okay to put ice there right?"

"Cold!" the bat complains as he struggles to sit upright. He uses his pants to shelter some of the cold away as he waits for the pain to die down a bit. "Well, I guess you get your revenge after all," he quips with a pained grin.

"It's was the princess' fault," Kaira claims. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Nah, it'll subside in a few minutes. The worst part is the pain is always delayed, like the body wants you to think about just what happened before it shows you," Alptraum claims, "I never even thought injury was possible in this game. That's why I picked it!"

"It's got sticks and small hard balls," Kaira points out. "Twenty Questions is the one that doesn't risk injury."

"Ha ha. It's your shot," Alptraum remarks, then manages to crawl off the play-lane.

Kaira forgoes the luck-dance or wiggle this time (figuring they might just cause Alptraum more pain). She sets her ball, and waits for the bridge to begin lowering before striking…

This time Kaira's ball gets stuck under the drawbridge. Alptraum laughs, then winces in pain. "How about we skip this hole and each just take the max stroke score for it?" he offers.

The dragon grumbles. "Sure, it won't affect our standing," she agrees. "Or, we could dragon things up and destroy the castle… "

And on goes the game. It's a series off good, bad, and rather comedic shots. By the end of it, Alptraum's club is bent at an odd angle and Kaira's club is about three inches shorter due to snapping off half of the handle when she had to beat on the alligator's head in order to get it to let go of her tail. They've finally reached the last hole, though! The end is in sight and the score is tied. The last hole is simple, hit the ball up a ramp and depending on how well aimed it was, it'll go into a one stroke, two stroke, or three stroke slot. Everything comes down to this …

"You first," Alptraum offers as he still waddles a bit funny up to the side of the play lane.

Kaira rolls her shoulders, and drops her ball on the starting pad. "Okay, here goes," she warns, and gives the ball a good whack.

And away goes the ball! Alas, the shorter club throws off her game … and the ball plinks into the three stoke slot.

"Well, we either tie or I lose," the dragon laments, and tosses her club over her shoulder.

"And now for the moment we've all been waiting for, Alptraum, PuttMaster, Reisender will amaze the world!" the Eeee claims. He sets down his ball and lines up the shot…

Mwahaha … ugh goes the club. And sure enough … Alptraum's ball drops into the three stroke slot too.

"I'm not amazed, 'PuttMaster', remarks the elf who goes skating by to retrieve the broken club that Kaira threw.

"He has an injured club," Kaira counters at the fleeing elf.

"Oh well!" Alptraum declares as he tosses his bent club over his shoulder. Alas, the bend in it makes it act like a boomerang. It neatly arcs back, catches the skating elf by her leg … and sends her head-over-heels into one of the 'ponds' of the course.

"You know, I think we both won that one," Alptraum quips a he comes up to stand beside Kaira and watch the elf flail around in the cold and somewhat smelly water. "At least neither of us have to dress like that, eh?" He grins.

"Hah!" Kaira barks at the mishap. "Still, never a total loss if you get to take your pants off, right?"

"Quite right," Alptraum agrees and drapes his right arm around Kaira's shoulders. "So, still mad at me?" he asks.

"No," Kaira notes. "I was never mad, just… mildly peeved," she claims.

"Good, that means we don't have to play another round. I don't think I could survive playing another round," Alptraum says, sounding relieved. "I think I prefer actual warfare to this game … it's less dangerous."

"In war you don't get to have pizza and ice-cream after wards," Kaira points out. "Plus we can make the elf strip for us!"