After leaving the reactivation of the Terratown networks and power grid to the PersoComs, the explorers head to the Protein Synthesis Facility (otherwise known as the Meat Factory) to search for viable stem cell samples for seeding the cloning systems. The building was ominously quiet without the giant machines running, and the forest of empty gestation tubes gave it more the feel of a graveyard than a place of creation.
They eventually found the Genomic Trade Library room, which was very reminiscent of one of the Bio Labs aboard the Fenris, with drawers and shelves of glass discs with nearly invisible tissue samples on them. The main difference was the organization and sheer volume and variety of them. There were dozens of different samples for every preserved species, and samples ranged from individual cells to embryos. The preservation process involved a semi-fluid blue goo that the samples floated in, rather than something that actually required power.
Tasha steps into the room with her eyes wide, muzzle slightly parted in wonder. She had been told about the Trade Library by Nora's PersoCom when she was entubed forcefully back on the Fenris, including that the Trade Library was the source for all uplifted species, as well as the Celestial Empire's genetic recovery. But, to actually see it, a part of the source from where so many species came from … "This is … This is the Trade Library, Gabriel? This is … It's how Lapi, and Skeeks, and … everyone not of the Fleet species were made?"
"This place is disturbing," Layth finally says as he goes to one of the pods and touches it. "We were … made here long ago?"
"Well, not here, but there are probably cells here from the same genelines that were used," Gabriel notes, tapping the glass walls of the cases. "This isn't a complete version… I think. Or if complete, not as diverse. Anyway, we need to find samples from a couple of specific Karnor lines."
"And… uh… a lot of secondary 'flavor' stuff," Gabriel adds.
"How do we locate Karnor lines? What should we look for in terms of markings?" Layth asks.
Tasha nods, a bit absently. Her ears flatten at the weight of this place; to be so close to the true origin of so many peoples, including half of her own, is too daunting to easily dismiss. She wanders among the tubes and samples, peering into this and that, the awe on her face reflecting back at her from the glass-like surfaces. "Does this mean that your Karnor line is here Gabriel?" She pauses, blinking, perhaps suddenly realizing she may find a half-formed Gabriel in one of the tubes. "Or mine? And what do you mean by 'flavor?'"
"I've got a list," Akkers offers, waving a piece of folded paper that's covered in lines of letters and numbers. "Well, I had a White Card, so probably have my own sample in there somewhere. Nora was a White also. We should find them clustered by color rating. The 'flavor' stuff is… well, to reproduce a genetic code without the original sample requires using a lot of specialized retroviruses… virii… whatevers… to replace certain gene sequences."
The Vartan turns back to listen to Gabriel, but by the time he gets to the part about retroviruses and gene sequences, her interested ears-forward expression has faded to a blank stare. "White, I can remember white," she says after a moment, nodding slowly. "I think I also need to talk to Dr. Caravelli for a few hours to just understand the rest of that. Maybe I should stick my head in a PersoCom download for a year!" She grins, then waves it off. "So, what's a white card, anyway, Gabriel? Were those for Karnor Elite?"
"Can anything here tell us who we might be related to?" Layth asks curiously as he reaches over and takes the paper to look at the codes.
"After six-thousand years?" Gabriel asks Layth. "Not without being able to scan your own genome first, and figure out which parts are human and which rabbit. As for White Cards… well, when I was born Karnors still had a probationary status, so to speak. Our breeding rights were regulated, and some weren't allowed to breed at all. White Cards were the elite, yes we had an open permit to breed with anyone with a White or Blue status."
"It is disturbing to think your breeding capability was controlled. Did they sterilize those deemed ones not allowed to breed?" Layth asks.
"You … You couldn't breed with just anyone?" Tasha blinks at that, recoiling a little. "Or, well, some of you couldn't?" She bites her lip, eyes widening, then laughs a little nervously. "I guess I'm a … Um, a breeding violation for you, Gabriel." She forces a grin, then points at her muzzle. "I'm sure I'm a red or black card, or whatever would get you frowned at."
The codes are only about twenty-characters long, and the first twelve are all numbers and all the same, thankfully. And all of the samples seems to be placed based on those twelve numbers.
"Red cards were sterilized, unless they had some special quality like enhanced speed or strength," Akkers explains. "Greens made up the majority. Their breeding was generally arranged though. And those classifications mean nothing now, Tasha. Karnors are off probation, at least here on Abaddon and on Sinai."
Layth reads off the code, then goes to find the section that matches the first twelve numbers and from there isolate the specific desired samples.
It isn't too hard to find the samples they're all in the same drawer even! There are nearly a dozen of each that match the codes.
"I know, I was just try to make you laugh a little. I'm sorry, Gabriel. This is a lot to understand and accept." The Vartan walks over to Gabriel and smiles at the man, then snatches his empty hand up and holds it, walking with him. "So does this mean that each and every one of the uplifted species, including half of me and all of you and Layth, are part human like I'm part Vartan?" She begins scanning the racks, and asks, "What code do we want Layth?"
"I believe these, Tasha," Layth says and waves to the drawer. "I will re-read the code. Please verify the codes match and collect the sample containers?"
"Well, Karnors only have a few human additions," Gabriel notes, squeezing Tasha's hand. "Mostly flavor things. If the Ark needed to built a large population fast, it makes sense it would use the larger animal stocks that could be modified with simple changes."
"Roger that, Layth," Tasha replies, copying Nora's way of talking. The woman doesn't let go of her mate's hand as she looks, squeezing it back as her keen eyesight scans the lines of code from several steps away. "It's hard to believe we're all a little human inside. I'm never going to look at a human the same way again." She risks a glance at Gabriel and asks, "So if we're uplifted, what species did we come from, Karnors and Lapi?"
"As if being able to change something to make it intelligent is simple," Layth points out, amused. He starts reading off the codes now and pauses between each to give Tasha time to confirm and pull the sample.
"Wolves and Rabbits," Gabriel says. "A few genetic tweaks for size, thumbs and fingers, a bigger brain. The main trick is making sure the modifications don't kick in until after birth, to avoid the human problem of the head being nearly too large to pass through the birth canal. Human babies are nearly all head!"
Tasha's eyes dart back and forth until she confirms a find, repeating the number and ensuring it is correct with Layth. "Here's one," she says, pointing at it. "And, I can't grasp it either Layth. The more I try and learn here the more I feel like I know absolutely nothing." She steps forward and gently begins extracting the sample. "So, what do Lapi and Wolves look like? It's strange, because we call Jupani and Karnors wolves and Lapi Rabbits, but I don't think anyone ever knew what that really meant."
"I simply accept I know nothing. Less stress," Layth remarks after confirming the number, then moving to the next.
"Well, we've seen rabbits in the biodome," Gabriel notes. "Wolves… well, there aren't any left, really. The Karnor project was an attempt to salvage as much of the species as possible."
"And yet the decided to also control breeding? Strange," Layth comments.
"At least I don't have to worry about children," Tasha admits, expression and tone carefully kept neutral, "Vartan hybrids like me almost never can." She peers at what she's taken, then gentle hands it to Gabriel before continuing her search. "Really? Layth's people Lapi and Amazonians came from THAT?" Tasha suddenly laughs despite her discomfort at the idea she's sterile.
"You probably aren't familiar with domesticating animals," Gabriel chuckles. "When wolves were first domesticated, they became dogs Gallah."
"Humans came from creatures that lived in trees, threw their feces at one another and were almost entirely covered in hair," the Karnor explains. "They look like they do now because they domesticated themselves. It can affect something called… epigenetics? I think that's it. It means that genetic expression can change quickly, within a few generations and nearly transform a creature without the underlying genes actually changing much at all."
"Anyway, it means a lot of effort had to go into making sure Karnors retained the character of wolves without becoming dogs," the man concludes.
"So wolves are the undomesticated versions of Gallah and Gallee? Or, I guess, the originals?" Tasha confirms several more samples now that she knows what she's looking for, confirming each and every one before extracting them and passing them to Gabriel. "Would you show me a picture of wolf some day, Gabriel? And, do you know where Vartans come from?"
"I'm sure we have some art and photos," Gabriel says, getting a box to put the samples in. "As for Vartans… they're a mystery to everyone I think, like the Titanians."
"I think this is all of the primary list. Now we need the … 'flavor' stuff," Layth notes as he double-checks his mark-offs.
"The gene store is at the back," Gabriel says, heading deeper into the library. Some of the drawers are full of pucks with actual embryos in them.
Tasha's ears wilt a little, but she nods. "Well, at least I know where half my ancestors came from," she remarks, trying to sound positive. "And my mum- … Oh, slag it," the woman gives a little mock-sigh. "I'm just going to call her mum; it's the one thing I can never remember to sound like Nora on." She turns and nods to Layth, then glances at their stored samples. "It's like making a sandwich or a cake. A Karnor cake."
"Should we bring these … tiny babies?" Layth asks as he passes the embryo storage. "It seems wrong to leave all of this here to just waste away."
"Those are livestock," Gabriel notes. "Uh… ungulate… sheep," he determines after reading the label. "I didn't know we had sheep. Anyway, these are just clones used for growing meat."
"Oh. Well, do we need meat for your crew to eat?" Layth asks next.
"I think they're long dead, aren't they?" Tasha leans over and gently taps an embryonic stasis tube, "although I agree about trying to recover as much of the Trade Library as possible, if just for medical and cloning reasons should something happen to one of us." Moving on, the Vartan follows Layth until they reach the next session and he indicates they should stop. "I can hunt the wildlife aboard this ship for meat?" she offers.
"Fresh meat would be nice, but I have no idea how to operate the machinery here, or if it even still works," Gabriel says. "Otherwise we could try growing a few live ones to take back to Abaddon, and grow some meat cultures for ourselves."
"Hunting your boyfriend does not count," Layth says with a bemused smile and even elbows Tasha. "Perhaps we should check with the doctor on the possibility of growing these and if he believes it possible, we come to claim them?"
Tasha grins right back, giving Layth a hip-bump. "That sounds like a good idea. We should create a master list of secondary and tertiary items we may want to bring, then come back after we have all the primary ones and know how much room we have aboard Bellerophon," she agrees.
"My main concern is we may have only one chance at salvaging things from this old base, so we should not squander the opportunity. I'll make notes and give them to the doctor and others for review," Layth says.
"Oh I agree completely," Tasha tells Layth, nodding. "However, after some brief review of interplanetary navigation, weighting, and other transit factors we'll need to be careful not to overburden Bellerophon. That shouldn't be hard too avoid, but if what Nora says about the trip is true, we'll need to take everything into account. There's also storage concerns, construction of future infrastructure and a lot of other details. I guess what I mean is, we'll take everything we can if it won't endanger us and if we can foreseeably use it."
"Exactly," Layth says and nods. "Everything should be considered, and what we can transport and use should be part of the final selection."
"If we can grow cows, I'm sure they'll be useful in distracting the Titanians," Gabriel offers, as the get to a door with a scary looking bio-hazard sign on it, which he completely ignores and slides the door open.
"We could offer Tasha to the Titanians, perhaps. They might like her, she's loud," Layth jokes as he follows Gabriel into the next room. He does pause to look at the sign, but the meaning is lost on him.
The gene bank is very different from the library. Instead of glass pucks, the racks are filled with test tubes. And the goo is red. "Or sheep. They might like sheep for pets. They're fluffy." Gabriel remarks.
Tasha pauses at the sign, eying it a long moment as if trying to recall what it meant, but her concentration is broken off by Layth's remark. "They probably would take me, but I'd have to be captain in a few weeks or I'd jump ship. I've gotten a taste for leading," she says back, grinning at Layth. She follows Gabriel inside and eyes the red tube. "Okay Layth, give me the list."
This list is much longer over a hundred codes, and none of them similar to one another!
Layth flips the page and scans the list. He nods once, then begins to read off the codes of the samples to collect. He goes slowly this time, reading off a single code and waiting for Tasha to confirm before moving to the next.
Gabriel finds a box filled with a spongy material with holes in just the right size for holding the test tubes.
"15473 … Nope." "15478 … No." Tasha's scanning goes on for some time, and leaves little room for talking with her concentration full invested in reading the massive numbers.
"I bet they used this task to torture prisoners with boredom," Layth comments.
"I'm sure a robot was used to do this," Gabriel notes. "I have no idea where it is or how to work it though, so… we do it by hand for now." It takes a few hours to fill the order, but at least everything on the list is still available.
"Who wants to load the cart and take a relaxation break?" Akkers asks, once the box full of tubes is sealed up.
"I can load the cart," Layth offers, "I'm used to such labor."
"I'm going to thank Abaddon and the First Ones if my training never involves something like this," murmurs Tasha as she leans back from reading off the final number, rubbing her eyes. "I know I could use a break."
Training Zone
Unlike with Titans, there isn't a lot of virtual simulation for combat training. An entire building is set aside, including multiple floors of different environments and transparent walls for observers. The space also serves as a firing range and armory.
After the cart is loaded, Gabriel takes Layth and Tasha over to the building next door, the first floor of which looks like a bomb went off and was never cleaned up. "I used to come here often to unwind," the Karnor tells them. It lacks anything that looks comfortable to sit on.
"This place does not look relaxing," Layth remarks as he peers around at the destruction. "You should visit the Temple of Morpheus for relaxation… "
"Did you blow this place up then?" Tasha gazes across the ruins, head shaking, but muzzle all grins. "Me, I used to 'relax' in the Themis-Skoll's battle simulator among other ways."
"Is that an Amazonian temple?" Gabriel asks as he goes over to one of the big lockers near the entrance, in the 'non exploded' area. "I'd be afraid that I'd never come back out, if that were the case. So… markers or some target practice?" he asks.
"It is. Why would you be afraid you would never come out? I went and came out from there many times," Layth says, smiles, then shrugs. "What are markers?"
"I'd drag you out you forget I'm the part-time Herald of Abaddon, Tisiphone," Tasha tells Gabriel with an even wider grin, nudging him. She follows him to the lockers and peers at them, asking, "Are there weapons here then?"
"Remember that thing the robot shot you with in the warehouse?" Gabriel asks. "That's a marker." He then removes an almost fragile looking short barreled weapon from the locker. "They're used for fun, mostly. You shoot each other with them!" He points to a larger locker and says, "And then we have the live-fire weapons, if they're still around."
"I would enjoy shooting Tasha," Layth comments, "For her repeated attempts to kill us with machines… "
"Oh!" Tasha's grin suddenly turns wicked; then she's right over looking through the weaponry, both marker guns and then shifting to search the live weapons. As she looks, her ears perk and rotate at Layth's comment, "Hey, don't blame me. I've given you plenty of chances to stop following me into danger. I think you should shoot yourself!"
"We have to protect you from yourself, do we not?" Layth asks and elbows Akkers to back him up.
Akkers hands the small gun to Layth, and opens the next locker which is actually locked, so he has to enter a code. This one contains a single weapon a rifle nearly as long as Layth is tall, with a heavy stock and a gleaming, lethal look to it.
"Which self is that? I have a lot of them these days," Tasha says as she waits for Gabriel to open the locked locker. When she sees the weapon her eyes widen, then she immediately rushes to pick up the gun. "Hahahaha!"
Layth looks over the short weapon, turning it this way and that in his hands. "It does not seem like much," he says, "And the one you hold seems over-compensating."
"Be careful with that," Gabriel warns. "That's a Mark V Hyper-Velocity Gauss Rifle. It's unloaded of course."
"Can I keep this, Gabriel?" Tasha seems to be staring at the weapon the same way she stares at Titans and the Bellerophon, some mix of love, bedazzlement, and a grin that hints at dangerous thoughts. "Oh, I'll be careful!" Despite the weapon being taller than her, Tasha seems to have no problem hefting it. The others may be relieved to see she never allows the barrel to point at them, as she was taught. "Can I fire it?!"
Akkers seems unsure, and looks to Layth, asking, "She will never stop asking unless she is allowed to fire it, right?"
"No, she will not. You should not have taken it out. She will next ask to sleep with it in the same bed as you, too," Layth explains and sighs.
Tasha seems to be giggling a little at this point, staring up at the length of the weapon with her muzzle parted and smile wide.
"Okay, I get the picture," Gabriel says. "Let's see if the caps are charged." He then lifts out a drum-shaped and clearly heavy object from a cradle in the locker, and checks the status lights on it.
"Oh, wha-?" Tasha blinks, forcing her eyes off the weapon and looking to the others. "Did I miss something?"
"Hold it steady," the Karnor says, as he slaps the drum into place near the middle of the rifle, just before the trigger. It nearly doubles the weight of the weapon.
"No good will come of this," Layth mutters.
Tasha's arms sag a little under the weight of the weapon, and she has to compensate by shifting her stance and moving more of the weight center. Despite the load, her smile never abates. "I've carried worse," she insists. "Besides, I'm a Vartan! Mum says I'll get stronger with age!" She turns the barrel away, towards the ruins, leveling it. "So, how does this work?"
"You put this on first," Akkers notes, handing out eye and ear protection. "And I haven't loaded the ammunition yet. That drum holds the capacitors for thirty shots."
Layth immediately puts on the hearing protection. Eye protection follows quickly.
"Can it be refilled?" is Tasha immediate question, followed by, "And the ammunition replaced? I think I may keep this." She has to lean closer to Gabriel, getting him to put her ear and eye protection on rather than putting the weapon down and doing it herself. "I can keep it, right?"
"Calm down, woman, you haven't even fired it yet," Gabriel all but barks. He holds out a clip that looks similar to that used by the machine pistols, if you stuck three of them together side by side. "There are tungsten coated flechettes. Each squeeze of the trigger fires one hundred of them in rapid sequence." He then slots the massive clip into the rifle, adding another few pounds to its weight.
Tasha's ears flatten at Gabriel's chastisement, her smile dropping. She stares at her mate a moment, then takes a deep breath and nods a little. "You're right; I'm sorry Gabriel. You know how I can be with big shiny machines." She has to shift her weight again, bracing one hoof forward and another back. She then glances at Layth and inclines her head to him, too. "Sorry Layth."
"At least you listen to him," Layth remarks and shrugs. "You may want to balance the barrel on some sort of stand to counter its weight. If it works anything like the weapons we were trained on back on Abaddon, it may also have considerable kick."
"Now then, this is not like a regular gun," Gabriel says, and moves a stud on the rifle. A small whine can be heard, and the gun suddenly seems resistant to casual movements of Tasha's body. "Stabilizer on. Now, aim roughly over at that concrete pillar about first yards away," he instructs.
"I listen to you too Layth, at least I think I do?" Tasha glances at Layth curiously, then returns her gaze to the range. Shifting the barrel further, she takes aim at the distant pillar, then peers down at her weapon. "I feel like it's, rrr, sticking to the air. That's the stabilizer? I remember Nora explaining something about those when she was talking about atmospheric flight."
Layth thinks for a moment on things Fred showed him while helping bring the reactor online. "Gyroscope?" he asks Akkers and motions towards the stabilizer switch.
"It's a weight inside that spins very fast, called a gyroscope," Gabriel notes, and guides Tasha's trigger finger to a switch. "This is your target mode selector. Move it to the next position."
"The Themis-Skoll, has some too, which I mostly remember from the flashing 'STABILIZER FAILURE' warning shortly before I either crashed or fell over. Someday, I'm going to finish that simulation right." She looks down at the side of the weapon and reads the selector, then clicks it to the indicated position.
A brightly glowing red dot appears on the pillar. "That's pin-point target mode, where every missile will hit the same spot. Switch it to the next mode now," Gabriel says, after nodding to Layth.
"Thought so. It sounded similar to the ones used on the ship," Layth says and nods.
Tasha does so, watching her fingers and memorizing the various settings as she goes. "Hey, good job Layth," she congratulates the buck. "It looks like Fred does more than just check out your butt!"
"He does a lot of that too, alas," Layth notes. "I have never been felt up as much as when I am around him… "
The red dot turns into a hundred red dots, arrayed in a circle a few inches across. "There's a slider just above the selector," Gabriel notes. "You can use that to control the size of the circle. That mode lets you cut holes."
"I love that man, he always makes me laugh and reminds me of The Rake crew. Oh, AND my time working the tavern!" Tasha tells Layth. She then looks up, her eyes widening. "This can cut holes in pillars? Gabriel, you get me the best presents! Have I told you how much I love you today?"
"Not yet, I just hope you don't find this gun more satisfying!" Gabriel jokes. "The next two modes are for horizontal or vertical line cutting. Go ahead and pick the target mode you want to use."
Layth quirks an amused smile. "I like him too. He is … easy going and friendly. He even manages to be charming now and then," the buck notes. "So I do not mind so much that he is a bit feely."
"Nothing can replace you, Gabriel. This gun is big and shiny, but you, you're EVERYTHING to me," the woman tells her mate, smiling and him and leaning over to butt her head into his arm before she returns to the task at hand. "Which reminds me, Gabriel … " she begins changing mode, swapping all the way back to the small single dot perhaps Gabriel and Layth's urging she take it easy did sink in after all. "What you told Nora, about me? I feel the same way about you; remember I'll always listen to you, even if I get a little carried away. Now, you two may want to step back in case this explodes. Someone has to carry me back to dump me in a tube!"
"Have they ever exploded before?" Layth asks Gabriel as he takes a few steps back.
"If it explodes, it will take out the building," Gabriel notes. "Now, the safety is above your thumb. Layth, join me behind this blast shield over here?"
Layth nods and heads over to stand behind the last shield.
"That's reassuring," Tasha says, eying the gun with additional respect. "I guess we're a lot alike!" The Vartan takes a deep breath, taking aim despite not really needing to and then braces her hind leg in preparation for firing. "If I'm annihilated," she calls out to her friends, "tell my mother I died surrounded by things I love!" And with that, she clicks off the safety and pulls the trigger!
There is no kick, nor bang of a bullet firing. Flame gouts from the vents alongside the muzzle and the air glows along the superheated path of the flechettes and then expands explosively like a thunderclap, which drowns out the impact explosion on the pillar where the concrete simply vaporized. The pillar is cracked, and a one inch hole glows red hot. It goes all the way through the four-foot thick pillar.
Even with the ear protection Layth winces at the thunderclap generated by the round. "Good Gods," the buck murmurs as he looks at the red-hot gaping hole in the pillar. "That weapon is insane."
The air smells of ozone and charcoal once the dust settles.
"It's used for long-range anti-armor attacks and hull breaching generally," Gabriel says, once he doesn't have to shout to be heard.
"I do not want to think what it would do to a person," Layth admits.
"Less damage than a bullet in pin-point mode, surprisingly," Gabriel notes. "But the other modes will cut someone in half. All are still lethal. The flechettes are tiny, but they move at about 10,000 miles per hour."
"Have you ever killed someone in combat?" Layth asks Gabriel.
"No, but the simulations are very realistic," the Karnor admits.
Tasha's ears flatten at the overpressure wave, the woman squints, she braces against the shockwave and when the thunderclap echo dies away, she's staring down the barrel at the glowing hole where the flechette once passed. She blinks a few times, leaning forward, the heat from the barrel making her eyes shut even as her muzzle drops. For the moment, Tasha seems too overwhelmed to even make a noise. She just … stares.
"I have," Layth remarks, "Avoid ever having to actually do it."
"Anyway, you wouldn't use this against a person," Akkers says. "It's mostly for fighting Titans."
"But I suppose you could use the horizontal fan mode to wipe out a crowd of people," Gabriel notes. "Only a hundred bullets, but they'll got through about twenty bodies each I imagine."
Whispering now, so Tasha doesn't hear, Gabe tells Layth, "That couldn't actually happen though. The gun is smart enough not to shoot at living things."
Once Tasha begins to move again, her hand slips to the safety switch, click it, then … she suddenly hugs the weapon rather like Blammo when he found the Titan. She even winces when the heated barrel burns one of her feathers, and possibly skin, but she doesn't seem to care. "Ha … ha … ," she begins chuckling, " … haha … HAHAHA!" The cackling, giggle-fit only gets louder.
"I would not allow her to keep that weapon," Layth whispers back to Gabriel. "Look at how she reacts it it. It is not good for her mental well-being. She loses all capability for rational thought."
"Uh-ha… are you gonna try to take it away from her then?" Gabriel replies to Layth.
"If I have to. You are her captain, though, and have authority to make her surrender it," Layth points out.
Gabriel clears his throat, and tells Tasha, "That was… fine, Tasha. You'll need a bit more training before you're actually certified to handle that, though… "
Tasha laughs so hard she falls to her knees, wheezing. She rubs her face with the back of her arm, the laughter slowly dying away until she's sitting there, panting. "Oh Gods," she breathes, "that was … that was … " She either can't catch her breath or find the words, because she doesn't finish. When Gabriel addresses her, she looks up at him a lot like a child might when her father asks to take her puppy, but slowly, she nods a little. "Al … Alright." Then she tilts the gun in his direction, for him to take.
Very carefully, Akkers takes the rifle and switches it off, keeping the hot muzzle away from himself and the others. "See? How can I compete with that?" he asks her. "Star-forbid we get Belle's linear cannons working. It's just a gun, Tash!"
"I-I know," Tasha offers, sheepishly, ears flattened. "But I … I um, … I … " Taking another deep breath, she pushes her stray hair from her face, the strands that had been dislodged by the shockwave, "I don't have an excuse, and … I won't make one up." She drops her gaze to the floor, nodding a little. "I'm sorry, Gabriel Captain."
"Why don't I leave you two to work this out, Captain?" Layth asks, then offers, "I can take the samples back to the ship while you two work out various things."
With a sigh, Akkers musses up Tasha's hair before putting the rifle back. "It's my fault too, but I thought you'd gotten over your fixation with big destructive things when you were able to resist climbing into that Titan."
Tasha looks even more chastened when Gabriel brings up how she had seemed to be getting better then just failed at it. "It's not your fault," the woman murmurs, quietly. She continues staring floor ward, idly reaching over to rub at her wing where the barrel had singed it. "It's … It's mine."
"Now then, how about we put on some helmets, load the markers, and see if we can hunt down Layth before he can ambush us?" Gabriel asks with a grin, trying to cheer the hybrid up again.
Slowly rising to her feet, Tasha rubs her wing a little more, flicking off singed remains of feather. She looks up, meeting her mate's eyes, and asks him, "How is anyone supposed to trust me?" Her head tilts to the side, her gaze shifting to the now cooling hole the rifle has made. "Am I really just fooling myself, Gabriel? Can a Vartan really do this? Can I?" She looks back, then nods at him to lead on.
"I am rather uncomfortable right now," Layth says honestly, "I would rather just deliver the supplies back to the ship and leave you two to work out issues, rather than feel like a continuation of a problem."
"Practice, that's how," Gabriel says. "I had a lot of years of training before being given a command. You don't have that advantage you have learn by doing."
"I thought you wanted a chance to shoot us though, Layth?" Akkers asks the Lapi.
The woman nods a little, seeming to accept Gabriel's words or just not have the energy to argue. She turns around to Layth, head tilting again. She studies him a long moment, then asks, "Do you want to shoot me? I'll stand here; I won't even try and move."
"Not after that display. Her bloodlust and loss of rational thinking worries me," the buck states. "I have no desire to encourage it."
Tasha's head edges back, the woman frowning. "I've never really hurt anyone, Layth," she admits. "I've never killed anyone. It's not the ability to harm people that made it … fun. It was the noise, the fire, the light and I guess the destruction. But I wouldn't have done it if someone would have been hurt!"
"True, I don't think bloodlust is an appropriate term," Gabriel says. "Aside from the noise, it's really a very boring weapon," the Karnor adds, smirking a bit at the pun.
"I enjoy lights and sounds, the louder and brighter, the better. I won't deny that being able to destroy that pillar didn't get to me too, but it's not a person. I'm a Vartan, we like that sort of thing. My mum would have loved this she loves Rephidim's fireworks." Tasha scratches at her neck a little, glancing at Gabriel and his out, then looking back to the buck. "But if you feel you need to go, I won't stop you."
"I have killed before, Tasha. I've also seen friends of mine die while escorting baubles to sell," Layth says simply, "You are losing the point of what the machine is for in all its flash and dazzle. It is ultimately intended to kill and that is what I see when I look at it. With the way you hugged that weapon and even burned yourself, it makes me worry greatly you would forget the safety of anyone around you if it was fancy enough." The buck then points to Tasha's singed wing for emphasis. "Do you understand how terrifying it is to see a friend completely lose it and cackle?"
"That was a mistake," the woman responds, defensively. "And for Gods sake, we're here to relax, Layth! I KNOW what I did was inappropriate, and I did DO want to keep the weapon, but I surrendered it when asked. I didn't turn it on anything that I wasn't supposed to. I've never used Expedition Fleet technology to harm anyone; I'm trying to BUILD something, here!" On the verge of yelling, Tasha pauses to take a breath, letting her voice drop to more conversational levels. "Maybe because you're a warrior and a Lapi, you don't understand where I come from. Do you think it's easy, trying to live up to everyone's expectations when NO ONE here is remotely like me?"
"That I can sympathize with," Gabriel notes.
"Last time I looked, I don't see any Lapi around me on this mission either," Layth points out. "And I grew up in a land of Khatta. So, no, I really don't know anything about feeling alone and not being like anyone else around me."
"In fact if you look around this room, none of us can exactly say we're around people who are like we are," the buck adds. "Gabriel is far from his time and home, you're a Vartan, and I'm a Lapi. No one is remotely like any of us."
"Bellerophon is the perfect ship for us," Gabriel says. "It was the only one made for a mixed crew. Which may be why it was left behind. And none of her original crew were from any of our races."
"Then you should know how I feel, at least," replies the red woman, who then glances between the two men. "And I've had to be Tisiphone and Nora, too." She takes another breath, reaching up to rub at where her muzzle meets her face. "I just wish you'd show me more faith, especially considering how different we all are. As scary as it may have looked, that was fun for me. Living up to Nora, leading when I have no real right or training to, trying to rise to all of this," she gestures around herself, "is a burden I never minded; a least let me relax in my own way."
Layth rubs his face and sighs. "The only person you have to live up to, Tasha, is Tasha. Not Nora, not Tisiphone, Tasha," he says slowly. "None of the others are better, or worse than you, Tasha. If you want me to show faith in you, then dagh, Tasha, show faith in yourself instead of always wishing to be someone else," the buck says in something Tasha may have never seen before. Layth is growling and angry.
"Okay, now you need to relax a bit, Layth," Gabriel notes. "Even though you're pretty much correct." To Tasha, he says, "You don't want to lose who you are in trying to be like other people. I almost thought you were going to start shouting at Nora's PersoCom back in the network room."
It seems that with Layth losing control, Tasha's grip on her own begins to waver. Her voice raises, wings flaring out. "Oi, it's about TASHA now is it? Are you SURE? Because TASHA wanted to fire that gun and laugh, and THEN keep that weapon, and THEN continue what we were doing! TASHA would have stored it in her room and kept it until it was needed, rather than blowing holes in the ship, but no one excepts TASHA to maybe be able to laugh ONE MINUTE and be fine the next!" She takes a step forward, brows raising. "And what if TASHA wants to be like Nora? What if this," she waves at the room again, "IS what she wants? And what if TASHA likes yelling and being loud, why is it, when TASHA starts acting like TASHA, people want her to calm down, but when she acts like someone else, they want her to be TASHA?!" She throws her hands up in the air, exasperated.
"You can learn from other people, but you must always have faith in yourself if you want others to follow you," Layth says as he removes the ear and eye protection. He carries it back to the box Gabriel got it from and puts it away. "You fall apart anytime someone points out a mistake and you start questioning your ability to lead. If you constantly question your ability, so will those with you."
"In other words, if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will," Layth simplifies.
"Hmmm," Gabriel goes, wondering how to deal with all of this. For now he just rests his hands on Tasha's shoulders from behind, and asks her, "Do you need some first aid for your wing?"
Tasha straightens, her expression becoming almost steely as she regards Layth for a long moment, then she nods curtly. "Oi, I see. Fine then." Glancing at her burnt wing, she shakes her head to Gabriel before continuing. "Then, this is how it's going to be: I'm going to be 'myself,' whatever that is. Which means, I'm going to do things you won't like. Like laugh, or yell at Nora, sometimes I stare at shiny things, or be impulsive. If you don't like it, remember what you wanted. I'm also going to be like Nora, because Nora, whatever you say, better for this than I am. I won't be Nora no more than I already am but I'll try and be like her. And no one is questioning it again, or I'll be me, and we'll handle this the Vartan way." She takes a breath, then reaches up and yanks a damaged feather out, tossing it aside. "Sometimes I think none of you know what you want from me. Be Nora, don't be Nora, be who you are but don't be. You know that yelling is who I am, right? You know how I grew up? I'm just a dock rat and that's not enough. Ha, maybe we should have settled my mum's way."
"What is your mum… er… mother's way?" Gabriel has to ask.
"And I think it is best that I take the supplies back to the ship. You and Gabriel should relax here," Layth says, "Shoot the gun more, get feel for it. Play with the markers, practice. Have fun."
"When I yelled at my mother, tried to tell her off, or what-have-you," Tasha begins, glancing at Gabriel from the corner of her eye, "She would put me to the floor." Then, Tasha grins a little. "One time, she hit me so hard I didn't wake up until nightfall."
"That's… not really allowed in the military," Gabriel notes.
Shifting her gaze towards Layth, Tasha inclines her head again. "Alright, Layth. You know how to reach everyone if there's an emergency. The CommNet is active. And, thank you for telling em how you feel." She then grins a little more, and says, "You'll be leaving that marker gun here, though."
"I don't hate you, Tasha. I don't like seeing you fall apart the way you do, you're better than that," Layth says as he sets the gun back in its case for one of them to use.
To Gabriel, Tasha says, "You two want me to be myself, but I don't think any of you really know what kind of person I used to be, or who I grew up with. I'm a dock rat, I didn't become the person you met until after I learned how horrible a person I really was," she explains. "If I hadn't changed, would you have really loved me? The Fenris would have stayed buried, and nothing would have changed. If there's anything that's still me, it's the fire to not give up. Even if you all leave me, I'll get that damn ship flying if I have to do it myself!" She pats the man's arm, then turns and nods to Layth. "The gun, that wasn't falling apart. The being hurt after you thought I had failed you that was falling apart. The gun, that's just me enjoying stupid, simple things. I'm a Vartan, we're stupid and simple." She grins a little more.
"That makes me think of Bromthen Heaven now," Gabriel says, and then chuckles. "I really will see if we can grow some meat now. We're under a lot of stress and can't overlook blowing off steam now and then."
Tasha nods vehemently to Gabriel, finally seeming to relax. Her confrontation posture eases, and her wings lower. Her grin, while friendly enough, is no longer conflicted by that steely look in her eyes. "You know, I've been trying so hard to be a good leader, to be calm like Layth and professional like Nora, I think I forgot the rest of me. I kept trying to hold back, so when I finally can't hold on any longer … " she gestures at the Gauss rifle, " … people think I've lost it, or am more angry than I should be. I'll remember that, but it might mean I'm a little less even and that I enjoy obliterating things while laughing like madwoman."
As Layth prepares to walk away, Tasha finds herself staring at the assortment of weapons with a pensive expression, muzzle pursed. "Gabriel, please hand me the Gauss rifle," she tells the Karnor, holding her hand out. Expecting a worried look, she drops her gaze, brows raising, and mouths the words "trust me."
The Karnor blinks, but retrieves the massive weapon for Tasha.
"Layth!" Tasha barks in her best commanding voice. "I think the words are "front and center!"" The woman rests the weapon against her shoulder, so her left hand is free to point in front of her.
Layth pauses partway out of the door and turns to look back at Tasha. His brow raises slightly as he turns and walks over to the indicated spot. The buck's head bobs slightly in acknowledgment and then looks expectantly at the Vartan.
Once Layth stands before her, Tasha looks him up and down, then tells him, "You've said you want me to be me to be Tasha. But, I don't think you know what that means. I'm not sure you understand me. I could yell, accuse you, rrr, whine, and mope, but I'm trying something different now. Listen and learn!" She glances up at the rifle in her arms, staring at it for a quiet moment of appreciation before looking back. "This is a Mark V Hyper-Velocity Gauss Rifle," she repeats. "This weapon is used to hunt Titans and armor. It is also more fun than it should be. That, is think, is why it's here, next to target guns." She looks at the weapon a moment longer, then hefts it, pushing it into Layth's arms. "Now, take it."
The corner's of Layth's lips twitch a bit as he accepts the weapon. "It is also rather heavy and is likely the cause of many back problems," the buck admits as he adjusts his grip to deal with it being as big as he is. He can't help but spare a glance to Gabriel for a moment before returning his attention to the woman he earlier alluded to being crazy. His brow raises again.
The Karnor just shrugs, grins, and reminds Layth, "It won't shoot at people." The man also fetches the eye and ear protection for the Lapi though.
"You're a strong buck! Stop sounding like an old lady," Tasha chides. She puts a hand on Layth's shoulder and nudges him until he rotates. "Gabriel, can you get us some protection please?" She flashes her man a smile, then tells Layth as she points at various bits, "Safety, mode selector, trigger, gyroscopic stabilizer."
Layth listens to the instruction again and then eases the protection back over his ears and drops the eye protection onto the bridge of his muzzle. "I claim no responsibility if the building collapses," the buck claims as he checks the safety, then activates the stabilizer. It's also now his turn to tell Tasha, "Behind the blast shield with you."
"Ha, I'm standing right behind you. I want to see your face." Of course, given Tasha's visual acuity, she surely can see it just fine from across the room but she steps behind Layth anyway. Resting a hand on his arm, she says, "Now, I want you to wreck these ruins. And Layth," she squeezes his arm, "have fun."
"Remember that you said that," Layth remarks in an eerie parallel to Tasha's earlier warning. The buck flicks through the selector and locates the pattern he wanted, the horizontal line spread. He takes careful aim aim one of the other pillars, perhaps to leave Tasha her trophy. His eyes narrow to slits and lips draw back in a disturbing Amazonian smile … and his finger pulls the trigger.
Thunder claps, and the pillar drops an inch and then falls over. When the dust clears, it looks like something had bitten it off.
If only the buck would have stopped there. His aim shifts and he flicks the selector to circle and targets the fragment of the former pillar. Again he pulls the trigger.
"I regret nothing," the Vartan insists, just before the weapon fire and the thunderclap pushes her hair and wings back. "More," she urges Layth. "More! That landscape thinks you're a Dagh-taken bastard son of a vermite! Are you going to take that?!"
With each thunderclap, the gun takes another big bite out of the scenery, leaving glowing concrete and burnt air in its wake (and luckily not affecting whatever the walls of the building are made out of).
By the time Layth is done, it becomes apparent he was trying to sculpt, of all things, a dorky looking grin out of the debris by using up several of the rounds and just about every mode the weapon had. He never completed it, alas, as the gun finally gets uncomfortably warm. So, he stops and puts the safety back on, then points it towards the ceiling. "That is entirely too hard on my ears," the buck claims, "… but I feel a lot better." He finally turns and offers the gun back to Tasha and smiles, noting, "I at least owe you an apology for liking this thing. I can appreciate its allure."
Tasha accepts the gun, and this time she moves her wings away from the barrel. "Now you know how I feel, when I yell, when I drink, and when I shoot this gun. Keeping everything back to put on the face everyone wants to see but doesn't admit to wanting drives me insane." She looks up at the weapon, elbowing her ear protection off, then nods. "This is how Tasha relaxes. When you've had enough, come find me Layth. We can break something we'll drink or light up the sky! And then," she takes a breath, looking back at the man, "we'll be what we need to be again. Fair?"
"How about we use those marker guns and you can see how mediocre of a guard I was back in my caravan days," Layth says and pats the Vartan's shoulder. "And I also think the two of us should talk about some things later. I promise I won't lecture I just … I want you to at least understand me a little better. It isn't easy for me either, just … in different ways than you."
"We should," Tasha agrees. "I think we've all been neglecting each other, you and me especially. And … I should talk to Eli and Remy too. I worry they've felt left out as I was so caught up in my big wolf." She smiles a little, carrying the weapon back to where it's stored. Once the weapon's settled in and not burning anyone, she picks up three weapons and carries them over. "I've got the advantage of eyesight, but I think Gabriel's going to make us green before we leave here." She passes the weapons out, then grins at everyone. "Here's Recreational Officer Tasha Argentine's order of the day: take this, have fun and … GO!"
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