As the doors slide open, the black bat's chairback slowly turns to reveal Nimiss himself, dark eyes looking across to the soldiers who are ushering a nervous-looking poodle in. "Excellent. I am gratified that you were able to answer my request on such short notice, Assistant Secretary Lovelace."

The black bat gestures for the poodle to take one of the rickety looking chairs. The ones that look definitely dignity-threatening.

Lovelace makes a formal salute, eyeing the room carefully. His eyes widen at the soldiers who are forcing the other poodle's retreat, but it's no one he knows. He spares a brief second wondering what the poor fellow's fate will be and whether the guard do poodle frog-marchings on consignments.

Lovelace says, "I await your orders, sir."

Lovelace glances around the room. So this is how Overly Conspicuous Consumption lives. His family is wealthy, but not given to such displays of grand power. He imagines his mother behind the desk (horrific notion) and then dismisses the thought with a slight downward flip of his tail. Some things don't bear thinking about lest they come true.

Nimiss nods. "Very good." He takes out a folder and opens it, then taps the front page. "Your supervisor assigns you an excellent 'cooperativeness and team work' index, you may be aware. In particular, he describes you as 'Eager to please' and 'Obeys orders well and thoroughly'." The black bat raises an eyebrow, as if examining Lovelace closely to see if he meets this description.

The soldiers close the doors behind Lovelace, the seals fitting with an audible hiss.

Lovelace raises his ears slightly and lifts his tail, hoping to look as though he meets up with the job description. "Thank you, sir. I try to do my best for the Temple. The Temple has rewarded me with a job I enjoy." He considers going further into the 'Temple Is My Life' but figures the bat would see through a drooling fanboy serenade. He shifts his weight slightly, hoping he won't be on his feet for another hour.

The black bat sits back a little with the folder, wings fitting behind his back into the specially fitted chair. "An admirable attitude, Assistant Secretary." Riffling papers, he continues, "Now, ordinarily the task that I have in mind would not be given to one of your low ranking and seniority. However, you appear to have… " He pauses delicately. "Caught the notice of certain high officers. Others of our possible choices are, unfortunately, not of exactly the right political alignments – or lack thereof, you understand – that is preferred for this assignment."

"Discretion and thoroughness in your duty must be balanced, you understand," Bridge Advisor Nimiss continues with a sly smile, watching Lovelace's reactions.

That had an ominous ring to it, Lovelace decided. Someone wants a proper little errand-boy with no obviously strong ties to the more fanatical elements. They want discretion… or they want a convenient target to be reaped, either politically or physically. Drawing himself to his full height, he says softly, "Yes sir."

"Excellent," Nimiss says. "Now, I am advised that certain protocols and procedures have been badly neglected. I would be remiss in my duty if I were not to ensure that they were carried out before much more time elapsed… " His look makes it clear that the burden of failing in these duties is not going to fall on his shoulders. "Specifically… "

The black bat leans forward, spreading fingers out on the desk and the folder he carries, thin clawtips glinting with violet highlights. "It seems that we are some five years overdue for an audit."

*Audit*… Audit… Audit… audit… The word echoes from the bulkheads.

Lovelace says, "An… audit, sir?"

The black bat stands with a slight smile of sharp little white fangs. "Oh yes. That time of the century when we must check that the Temple adheres to the Maker's Specifications in all ways… The inventory must match that which we actually have stored, use of machinery and our limited spaces must accord with that which has ben assigned, we must be sure that there is no peculation, no abuse, no eschewal of responsibility on the part of any Rephidim Temple officer or duty." He gestures for Lovelace to follow him to one of the bulkheads at chest level, then clicks it open to reveal… Not just one set of shelves, but many more stored in an intricate revolving mechanism that allows hidden shelves to be brought to the front as needed. Every one of the three-foot-high, ten foot wide shelves are stacked with large volumes of regulations.

Lovelace decides that the last poor poodle was hustled out so that he could slit his wrists somewhere in peace and quiet. The regulations would be a lifetime job for anyone…

Lovelace says, "Yes, sir. Is there a recommended procedure for this audit? "

"We perform audits very rarely because of the potential disruption of our routine, and the vast amount of ground that must be covered, you understand," Nimiss advises Lovelace, standing beside the bookshelf-mechanism. "Fortunately, your own duties will only comprise a small portion of the overall… " He reaches up to a shelf and begins pulling out six two-inch-wide books. "These mark your part of the overall audit that will be conducted."

A foot of reading material piles up on the reading table next to Lovelace.

Only a foot-tall stack of material, and if it's in the Temple's usual style, the pages are in small print and the print runs mostly to the edges. "Yes, sir. Who do I work with, and who do I make my reports to?" He makes his ears perk forward. If they decide he's reluctant, then they might not only dismiss him, but they could send poor mad Oney away from their little sheltered school for the feebleminded. And there would be no one to take care of his brother, then.

Nimiss says, "Specifically, you'll be responsible for auditing… " He intones the words as if chanting a religious mantra. "The physical facilities located in Beta Wing, Bulkhead Trigonomet Five through Vadurist Thirty-seven." Translating, the black bat says, "These include some officers' quarters, an auxilary Fount of the Mysteries, several Communicators of the Holy Ghosts, a number of disused storage areas, and of course, the Keepers of the Inner Mysteries' brandy distillery which I am not supposed to know about. After five hundred years, they are finally beginning to turn out a reasonably drinkable product, I am assured."

Nimiss nods to Lovelace. "Ah. Yes, thank you for reminding me. You will be assigned a Zelak as your personal escort and a sign that while you are conducting your audit, you are a representative of… " His voice emphasizes this. "My office. Which oversees protocol and regulations for the entire Rephidim Temple."

Lovelace allows him self a faint smile. "Should I report on the quality of the brandy that you are not supposed to know about?"

The black bat waves a hand dismissively. "That, Auditor Lovelace, I leave to your judgment. Of course, you understand that once the audit is completed, we will have to determine whether you return to work for your supervisor… " His voice trails off. Rise or sink.

Lovelace says, "Yes, sir. I will endeavor to give good service to the Temple."

Nimiss nods. "Excellent." He claps his hands to summon a black-carapaced Zelak who boasts six limbs, two feet, two foot-hands, and two hands with gutting claws jutting from the fore-arms. "Zhrkarikrk," he says in a fair approximation of the Zelak clacking language. "You are assigned to Auditor Lovelace, here. Obey him as you would me." As an aside to the poodle, he adds, "You may wish to select a nickname for your assistant."

The zelak nods to Nimiss, then turns to gaze at Lovelace. The poodle can clearly see his reflection in the deep black carapace of the Zelak.

Purple striations mark this Zelak's back… Very handsome, perhaps, if one were another Zelak.

Lovelace says, "I've never worked with one before. How do they… how do you speak to it. him."

"I speak." The zelak responds flatly.

Lovelace says, "What do you call yourself?"

Slowly, Zhrkarikrk leans down until his face is level with Lovelace's. He inhales sharply as he memorizes the poodle's scent.

Lovelace looks a little confused. "I've never had a Zelak assistant before." He reaches for the stack of books. "I guess I've got some reading to do, then."

Nimiss watches Lovelace make himself acquainted with his new flunky, smiling slightly. "Perhaps it would be more fitting to order Zhrkarikrk to carry your new reading material, Auditor Lovelace," he murmurs, a subtle reminder of Lovelace's new (temporary) elevation of status.

"I am Zhrkarikrk." He answers. "You may call me something simpler if you wish. I will answer to whatever name you choose for me."

Lovelace makes a good effort at it. "Zhrkanikrk. Thank you." He shuffles the books uneasily. He knows perfectly well how to deal with servants, but this … creature… rather unnerves him. He looks up at the bat. "thank you, sir," he replies and awkwardly thrusts the books at the Zelak.

Zhrkarikrk takes up the first book in his upper set of arms and the second in his lower set. He makes a few quiet clicking noises with his mandibles.

The Eeee raises an eyebrow, but says nothing of the nervous gesture. "By the by, Auditor Lovelace… " Nimiss walks up to the dais again, looking out the window at the afternoon sky.

Lovelace says, "Yes, sir?"

"The Arch Inquisitor Caesar Moffat has requested the pleasure of your presence at dinner – which will be in some two hours. A servant will bring you new robes and a new chain of office before then, and guide you there. Do sign the receipt, it's only on loan now. And good day." Bridge Advisor Nimiss chuckles darkly and turns his full attention to the window, an evident dismissal.

Lovelace swallows. "Yes, sir," he manages. Arch Inquisitor, indeed. He eases a finger around his collar, wondering why he feels like he's choking. "Thank you, sir." He bows and backs toward the door.

The soldiers open the door at some unseen signal and escort Lovelace back into the depths of the Temple from this rarified height…

Lovelace stands in the hall, feeling silly. Then he shifts his shoulders and straightens his suit and begins walking toward the only place he can think of to go – his office.

Just outside Lovelace's office stands a lady Savanite holding some robes and a chain.

Zhrkarikrk quietly looms behind the poodle, still clutching the books in his four arms.

Lovelace opens the door. "good afternoon," he nods to her. The robes are here promptly and he wonders if she was standing there all along. Is he that predictable.

The Savanite bows her head in deference to Auditor Lovelace.

The chain drips with silver from the Savanite's hand, thin circular plates fastened to a length of velvet that increase in size to the star-shaped badge at the bottom; the bottom of the star spreads out into a crescent. The badge's center holds several colored bars which mark Lovelace's new position in some inscrutable code, but four stars on both sides of the badge indicate that he now ranks substantially higher than his previous two-star state.

Lovelace says, "Uhmm… set the books down on my desk, Zhrkarikrk. I'll… ah… use the temple baths before getting the robe, Ma'm."

The cheetah nods, and looks as if she is prepared to stand there until the end of time, if need be, her face expressionless.

Lovelace makes a quiet gesture. "I know the way to the baths. Thank you." He takes the robe and the chain, fingering the gleaming length of metal.

The zelak fluidly walks to the desk and sets the books down, nearly spilling a bottle of ink and a quill in the process. His arms, now unused, fold mantis-like against his chest as he walks back to Lovelace's side.

The cheetah nods again. Her green eyes regard the poodle for just an instant, and then she turns and strides away, unhurried but covering ground quickly with her long pace.

Lovelace reaches for one of the books. "Maybe a bit of light reading in the baths," he says as he reads the spine. "Cellar clockworks, 4th level. Should be enlightening." He tucks it under an arm and walks to the door.

Lovelace finds the baths, and finds that one has been set aside for him. Someone is being almost unnervingly efficient. He disrobes and sinks into the hot water, pulling the volume over to his side. "Let me know when a half hour is up," he tells Zhrkarikrk. "I'll read till then. You may… uhmmm… do as you please till then." He leafs through the pages. "Chapter one… number of bricks in the cellar walls."

Lovelace says, "… figures… "

Zhrkarikrk quietly stares at the clock on the wall nearby. He does not move.

Lovelace continues to read quietly, his eyes slowly crossing as the rather dull book continues. No secrets in here. "At least they could have spiced it up with a better plot," he mutters wryly.

The clock's hands inexorably continue onward … drawing toward a half hour from the start of the poodle's bath.

The zelak continues staring at the clock, long after the steam has obscured its face. Instead of attempting to wipe off the condensation tho, he mearly walks closer and closer to it until he's practically resting his face upon it.

Lovelace dozes over the book. It's going to be a dreary task, counting all those bricks. He blinks a sleepy eye at the Zelak, wondering if it should be set to counting things.

Lovelace says, "Zhrkarikrk, can you count things?"

"Yes" The zelak answers. His voice sounds a bit muffled for some odd reason.

Lovelace says, "Can you count things like… the number of nails in the door there"

Zhrkarikrk clacks, "Yes."

Lovelace eyes the Zelak thoughtfully. "Count them for me. Let me see how long it takes you. And nevermind the clock for right now."

Zhrkarikrk backs away from the clock and walks over to the door. He reaches out with his hand and begins tapping the nails one by one as he counts them. He's a bit on the slow side, but does not make any mistakes. After about ten minutes he turns around to look at Lovelace. "There are sixty eight nails in the door."

Lovelace nods. "You're a good counter, Zhrkarikrk. Are all your people so skilled?" One Zelak would drive you mad waiting for a counting report… but several of them could count things in their old slow way and the matter would be taken care of accurately and in less time than it would take him to do it.

The zelak stares at Lovelace for a few moments. "We do as we are told."

Lovelace puzzles at this. "From the time you are born, this is so?"

Zhrkarikrk replies, "We work. Some fight, some build, some tend eggs. All do as they are instructed."

Lovelace says, "Who gives you your assignments when you work for us. Is it possible for me to ask for a team of… say… fifteen… to help me count?"

"You will need to speak with the hive queen about new warriors." Zhrkarikrk clicks. "A zelak does whatever the master orders."

Lovelace nods his thanks. "The Queen. Right." Nothing like a challenging job. "Take the book, please, while I get myself dried off."

The zelak walks to the edge of the pool and grasps the book in his lower set of arms, which pass the book along to the upper set.

Just as the poodle steps out of the bath, an ominous *clunk* noise comes from the drain, and a vile-looking indigo fluid billows into the water. The pipes must have backed up again. A servant will have to call the maintenance crew… It dawns upon the poodle that there just happens to be a maintenance substation in the area that he is scheduled to audit. Just maybe, possibly, he'll have a chance to give them a piece of his mind for a change…