It's another fine day in the Bazaar. Well, maybe not fine. Acceptable. Well, maybe not that. It's a day, anyway. Except that it's approaching sunset, so it won't be for much longer. According to the resounding bong of the (now functional) clock tower, it is six hours past noon day.
It would happen that there is the usual assortment of booths and merchants to be found in the Bazaar. Same old not same old. It changes, but it's still the Bazaar, after all. And, as fate would have it, there would be two peculiar folks – well, a little more peculiar than average, maybe – who happen to be IN the Bazaar right now.
A recently mute black Khatta walks down the path of the bazaar, the usual angry expression upon his face. His goal for today: find a healer that can restore his voice, which seems to have taken a vacation for the time being.
A raccoon in brightly colored mage's robes, golden yellow with purple markings, stands in what is probably one of the most haphazard looking mage's circles the world has ever seen. He twirls and spins, he howls gibberish at the top of his lungs, and throws bits of glittery dust into the air. "Watch the amazing Fenter!" he yells, "The great magician of the chaos sphere!"
A number of Vykarins seem to be quite amazed with the magician's performance, to the point of worship.
Jynx grumblemews (which is all he can do), then hears a familiar voice. He turns to watch the Rath'ani, ( What in the… what's he doing this time? )
"I control the fates! The very power of chaos!" Fenter wails. accidentally bumping a pole with his tail. "I provoke the fates and then laugh at them! For a few shekels I can make your life much more interesting… " his voice fades back into more gibberish as he goes back to his 'incantations'.
A few Bazaargoers – especially those with cubs – steer clear of Jynx, some hugging children protectively in case the exceptionally sour-looking Khatta might be trouble.
The pole shakes a bit, causing the canvas of the tent to wobble. There is an alarmed squeak from atop the canopy, and the sound of something sliding across the heavy cloth.
Jynx ignores the common rabble, and walks closer to Fenter's circle. He crosses his arms and looks directly at the raccoon, an unimpressed look upon his face.
Something sea-foam green slides off the edge of the canopy … and falls … and hits the black Khatta on the head.
It's small, and makes a satisfyingly clonking sound when it impacts the Khatta's crown.
"Hello Feli, lovely evening, isn't it? So nice to see you when you're not covered in paint or bug entrails or suchlike." the raccoon says, still twirling. His eyes change softly from green to bright yellow as he speaks.
As the shadows grow longer, and some volunteer workers (mostly merchants with booths nearby) light lanterns and a few streetlights near the clock tower, the lighting changes such that it seems that the Rath'ani's robes change color as well.
Jynx MEWS! in pain, and rubbing his head, looks down angrily at the… whatever it is. Hearing the raccoon, the gives a small final hiss at the object, and looks up. He says nothing, but gives a small inquisitive shrug.
Fenter pauses. "See! It worked! It worked! Chaos in action… thank you ladies and gentlemen!"
The Vykarins make happy noises of appreciation. Many thick tails thwap from side to side, hitting each other, or the crumbling walls nearby.
The object which struck Jynx on the head is now on the ground at his feet. It looks like a bar of perfumed soap.
Jynx sighs, and just stares at the Rath'ani. He then turns his attention back to the object, and picks it up.
Basking in the applause, Fenter bows. His red robes with white markings swirl around him. "What do you have there, lad? Something to wash the bug bits off with?"
At the moment Jynx picks up the bar of soap, several vermites scamper out from hiding, making a beeline for the bar of soap. The Khatta snatches it moments before they reach the spot. The creatures blink dazedly at the Khatta, then let out shrill squeaks, and scatter in all directions.
Jynx jumps back at the vermite squeeks! He's always hated those digusting things. He looks at the soap, then up at the tent top. With a confused blink, he returns his gaze to Fenter.
The Vykarins start rumbling amongst themselves. It seems that although they still cast adoring glances at Fenter, they're beginning to disperse.
*slide*
*clonk*
Another bar of soap impacts on Jynx's head, and lands on the ground.
This time, however, the vermites are too fast, and scuttle away with the bar of soap before it can be picked up, disappearing into the gutter.
Fenter's eyes change again from yellow to neon blue. "Ah… dinnertime for my worshipers. There's no pink things here for them to eat you kn-… ouch. That must have stung."
Jynx jolts and mews in alarm again, what the heck is going on here? He rubs his sore head, and takes a few steps back away from the tent. Standing on tiptoes, he tries to get a look on top.
Tiptoes or not, Jynx isn't that tall.
"Oh phoo, I must have botched the cantrip. I'll have to remember that one, make soap appear from thin air… that would be jolly useful with all the soap thefts and such going on these days." Fenter looks back up to the top of the tent as well. "Even the vermites are in need of soap it seems, times must be very tough."
However, he could try climbing the pole (risk factor: high), or perhaps climbing on some crates nearby (risk factor: moderate), climbing a wall (risk factor: unknown; embarrassment factor: high), or maybe he could ask for assistance.
Or maybe he could just knock the canopy over… Well, perhaps he can think of a better solution…
Jynx blinks at the strange statement of the raccoon's, but this is what he's come to expect. The Khatta thinks a bit, twitching his tail in thought.
There's a prickly feeling on Jynx's shoulder. A fuzzy, multi-legged form gingerly makes its way across the black Khatta, making its way toward the soap bar…
Fenter asks, "Did you lose something up there? Perhaps I could hoist you up. I'd offer you something to stand on but my worshipers have all gone away."
After a bit, the Khatta gets an idea, but just as he starts to relate it, he feels the eight legged menace, "MeYOW!" He jumps up and down like a wildcat, batting at the vermite and making annoyed cat noises.
The Khatta just narrowly misses knocking down one of the supporting poles while he's doing his little dance. My, but he's agile! A few Bazaargoers stop, and start clapping in 'time' to his little number.
The raccoon just stares dumbly at Jynx. "Meow?"
*FWIP!* The slick bar of soap goes shooting out of Jynx's grasp, and the vermite goes flying, a fuzzy bundle of spidery legs and squeaks.
Fenter makes a wild dive for the bar of soap. The stuff's pretty rare afterall!
Jynx hisses in feline fashion, every hair on end. He stares after the little ugly creature, and shudders.
The Khatta, on the other hand, backs away from the soap.
Fenter's stunt proves to be fairly impressive. It earns some more applause as he leaps through the air and manages to grasp the errant bar of soap. However, his trajectory takes him toward another one of the supporting poles. It snaps under the force of his momentum, causing that corner to fall, despite the supporting cords, and the other poles fall out of place as well. The canopy collapses. *slideslideslide*
*bonkbonkbonk* An inordinate number of the bars of soap that fall off the canopy land on the Khatta's head. This amazes the spectators, thinking this part of the show, and they applaud some more.
The raccoon hustles back over to Jynx and tries to gather up the bars of soap. "You're a regular magnet for hygiene supplies, Feli. I never would have believed it!"
"Mew! MeOW! Mya! Reawr!" objects the Khatta as he is pelted by the objects of soapy cleanliness.
A few enterprising Kavis grab some bars of soap as well … but most of them are being quickly snatched up by a horde of vermites that pours out of every nook and cranny! At the sight of the swarming vermites, the crowd of admirers quickly breaks up, several of them shrieking, some pausing just long enough to stomp a few, but most of them generally vacating the immediate vicinity.
(Those with wings mostly go to nearby rooftops so they can still watch the 'show'.)
Jynx lays on the ground, dazed and buried in soap. At the sight of the vermite horde, however, he gives out a loud, "MEEE-YAAAAAA!" and bolts behind Fenter, every hair on end.
Fenter arches an eyebrow, still hugging his armload of soap. He looks down at Jynx, "You don't think he… nahh… he wouldn't steal my idea. I mean, it's against the rules." as if Jynx has any notion of what in sinai he's talking about.
"Rulessss?" comes a hiss from somewhere nearby, but not immediately evident.
"And what's all this 'Me' walk you're saying, Feli? 'Me' what? Spit it out for goodness sake." the raccoon scans the ground for any remaining bars of soap or errant vermites. "Kids these days… "
Jynx, shuddering behind the raccoon, finally gets his mind of the little rodents. He calms down (or so it seems), and stands back up, trying to act as if the event never happened. He then gives a curious look at Fenter, "Mew?"
Jynx scowls at the Rath'ani, then crosses his arms and looks to the ground, making small hissing noises.
The swarm of vermites retreats – soap bars swept along in their midst – to the gutters, disappearing down an improperly sealed sewer access that is surrounded by a few barrels and sawhorses as the only protection to keep the unwary from bumbling in.
Jynx's attention goes toward the little horde, and he gives another small involuntary shudder.
Fenter stuffs the soap in his pocket. "Yes, rules. There's a set of guidelines for taking over the world afterall… and I believe one of them is that you have to come up with all your own ideas." He eyes Jynx again. "You know, this is the longest I've seen you go without saying something insulting… "
A garter dressed in traditional lawyer attire (aside from a few patches here and there in his vest and floppy cap) slithers up, carrying a satchel in one claw. "Have you been asssssaulted? Are you injured? Perhapssss you would like to pressss chargessss againsssst the nearby vendorssss for allowing ssssuch unsssafe conditionssss?"
Jynx scowls again, and has a look on his face that suggests that if he could speak, he would say something insulting
A one-eyed lupine merchant casts a baleful (and one-eyed) glare at the garter snake.
The black Khatta blinks as the snake slithers up, and he backs away a bit. He tries to reply, but once again all that he emits is a small 'meow'. He sighs, in rememberance, and shakes his head at the garter.
The garter snake flits his tongue at Jynx. "Ah. A classssic cassse of trauma. He isssss unable to ssssspeak! Perhapssss he hassss had whiplassssh, too! Don't nod yesssss, if you have."
Jynx arches a confused brow, and shakes his head vigorously. Besides, what's whiplash?
"Nooo!" hisses the snake. "Don't do that! You'll make it worsssse! Keep your neck sssstill! Healer! Issss there a healer!" He looks around. "Good. No healer. I mean, bad. Yessss, very bad."
Fenter rubs his chin and thinks. Apparently he hasn't quite made the connection between all the vermites and the loss of soap and such, but now… (especially with the chance to sue and make a pretty shekel or two), "sir, I would like to sue my arch nemesis for copyright infringement. He is using my idea to take over the world. By all rights, the possession of the workd should be mine if he conquers it." Amazingly, he says this with a straight face.
"Sssssue?" The snake immediately loses all interest in Jynx. "Hmm. Mosssst interessssting."
The snake squints a bit, as if regarding Fenter in a different light. "Wait a sssssecond. You … you're … "
Jynx blinks, and does as the snake says. The still puzzled look crosses his face, "Mew?" he asks questioningly.
The raccoon dusts himself off, "Fenter Nuttzenboltzen, Alumnus Chaos make of the college Esoterica and resident Sky God. I'm sure there's a few more titles I have, but they're innapropriate to say in front of children." he motions to Jynx. "So, do I have a case?"
The snake looks at Fenter, then at Jynx. "I am ssssorry … but I think I might have a conflict of interesssst. If you'll excusssse me … " He begins to sneak away.
Jynx glares at the raccoon, and crosses his arms defiantly.
"Here now! I want to sue my arch nemesis!" Fenter waddles over and makes a grab at the garter. "I thought you lawyer types were supposed to be fearless!"
There are some more screams from somewhere off in one of the more crowded areas. Apparently the Temple Guard must be tied up over there.
The garter GACKS as he's grabbed up by the raccoon! His tail thrashes about wildly! "GACK!"
Jynx follows the pair, swiveling an ear towrds the screaming.
Fenter looks back at Jynx. "I'm going to visit Wyckyd and do the whole confrontation thing that I'm obliged to do. It should be quite fun… care to come along?"
The garter trashes about. Meanwhile, there's no evidence of what is prompting the shrieking. Although some people are hopping around, and stomping a lot over in that direction. Also, the wind shifts directions, blowing this way, and there's a very sweet, perfume-laden smell coming from that street.
Jynx screeches to a halt! "MEOW?" The Khatta's jaw drops, then he looks angry. "Hiss!"
Soon, it becomes more evident what's up. There's a stampede of vermites headed this way! It looks like time to take cover!
Either that, or have really big feet and heavy boots and be prepared to do a bit of cleaning up afterwards…
The raccoon shakes the gartersnake at Jynx. "Now now… all these thefts and suchlike… he might have very well stolen your voice when you weren't looking. Vermites can do that you know."
The Khatta's anger melts, then turns to an aghast expression as the wave of creepy-crawlies start in his direction.
Quoth the garter snake, "GACK!"
Fenter peers back over his shoulder. "Um… I think we should run now." He looks at the snake in his hand. "Do you agree… I suppose it's always good to consult one's lawyer in situations like this."
The snake responds, "GACK!"
Jynx doesn't bother to consult the snake, and just high-tails it.
At least there's some cover nearby … a bunch of barrels and wooden sawhorses are conveniently at hand to duck behind.
Assuming 'gack' to be some legalese meaning, 'yes'. Fenter charges after Jynx.
Unfortunately, the Khatta, while high-tailing it, steps on an inconveniently-placed bar of soap.
"MEW!" yells the cat as he goes slipping down the street, via the moble properties of a wet bar of soap. He flails about wildly, trying to keep his balance, but also trting to stop at the same time.
The bar of soap's trajectory, as cruel, irresistable fate would have it, takes the poor Khatta skidding toward the brightly-painted sawhorses and barrels … and betwixt them. At last, the soap stops moving forward … and plummets. The Khatta does, too. He disappears through an unplanned "sewer access hatch".
"That is one of the most imaginative ways I've seen for running for one's life. You should copyright that!" Fenter yells as he chases after Jynx. "I've got a lawyer right here!"
Ah, great mysteries of life. What is it, about that great underground empire, the Rephidim Sewer System, that keeps attracting unlucky Foxes and at least one Khatta? Ponder on…
The world goes black as fur for thr Khatta, and all that is heard is a echoing "Mya!"
Fenter dives into the sewers after Jynx.
After an unreasonably elongated plummet through darkness, facilitated by a slide that twists and turns about, and would make a very nice amusement park ride if not for the many safety violations (and smell), the Khatta, Rath'ani and Naga land in a heap in a damp chamber rimmed by wall-mounted torches.
The air is heavy with a light haze, and the heady smell of Slurp-B-Gon intermixed with Flea-Zap Special Cleansing Elixir.
The Khatta meoofs! as he is landed upon by the duo.
There are many other odors wafting through the air … strong enough to overpower the sorts of aromas you would NORMALLY associate with this part of the city, that is. It smells so very soapy here. And perfume-y, too.
The Naga gacks, "GACK!"
Jynx squirms underneath the Naga and racoon, hissing angrily.
Fenter sneezes loudly, and uses the hand gripping the garter to wipe his nose. "Ick… this must be some underground beauty salon. I hope we don't get permed."
A chorus of squeaks echoes through the chamber … eminating surely from one of the many catacombes and tunnels that radiate out from this central construction, several of them sloping steeply upwards – slides like the one that Fenter and Jynx and the Naga came down. No sign can be seen of the little vermin, though. However, there are still plenty of shadows obscuring the corners of this irregular room.
"You should really try and speak up you know, Feli. It's quite rude when you mumble like that." the raccoon says, pulling himself to his feet.
Plus, there are crates and boxes stacked high, some positively overflowing with soaps and bottles of perfume and lotion and cologne and all sorts of stinky fragrances. Fortunately, the flasks of "Eau de la Skunk" are securely stoppered.
Jynx shoves the snake off himself, and hissgrumbles as he gets to his feet. The cat dusts himself off, and looks around with a puzzled face.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!" is the sound that echoes through the chamber, drowning out another "gack" from the firmly-held Naga in the Rath'ani's grasp (still).
A pair of red dots appear amidst the shadows, and drift forward. The form of a tall, dark Eeee separates itself from the shadows cast by a throne sculpted out of one huge mass of soap. Fairly nicely sculpted, too, though parts of it are a bit squished, considering how humid it is here, and that someone has been sitting on it.
Jynx freezes… great, just great! Even down here he can't get away from that buck-toothed maniac.
Fenter marches right over to one of the crates of perfume and shoves the garter's head inside one of the bottles. "See! See! This was MY idea! Here's the proof!"
Jynx scowls, and mews in objection as he backs away from the squirmy, soapy throne.
A heady vapor quickly spills out from the opened bottle, letting a greenish haze seep outward and quickly encircling Fenter, Jynx and the Naga. My … everything … looks … so much … nicer. Isn't everyone positively lovely?
The Naga says, "Gack," but does it in a so much more pleasant tone.
Jynx's hissing slows, lowers, then stops. Slowly, a pleasant smile appears accross hs face (Gee, that's a first in a long time!) Looking around dazedly, the cat mews in happiness.
"Welcome to my humble domithile," says the very tall dark and handsome Eeee in a most genteel tone with such a cute little lisp.
The Chaos Mage stares dreaminly off into space. "I never realized how nice the sewers were before… and how much of a charming laugh you have… mis-ter… uh… I've forgotten your name."
Or maybe that lisp isn't so pleasant after all. Reality reasserts itself as the vapor's effect quickly wears off.
Jynx sits on the ground, and mews happily as he pets a random vermite, but as the perfume begins to wear off, he shakes his head and comes to realization… "MYAH!"
The garter squirms vigorously in Fenter's grasp. He socks at the Rath'ani with his satchel, and whips him with his tail. "GACK!"
The Khatta bolts away from the little vermin, and attempts to jump on up on a crate to put some distance between them.
The crate is marked "Bleach." The wooden lid cracks under the Khatta's weight.
"Ow! Hey!" Fenter squeals. He shakeshakes the little snake. "You know, I could sue you for assualt. You behave yourself and do what you came here with me to do! Well, not technically CAME… but you know what I mean."
The garter whips around violently with Fenter's shaking, then falls limp, his satchel dropping to the floor.
Jynx just stands on all fours upon the crate, still shivering in fright at all the vermites surrounding him.
Fenter looks around. "I didn't know you had a beauty salon, Wyckyd… "
Jynx doesn't stand on all fours for long. The wood cracks and gives in. The Khatta falls inside. There is a crackling of breaking ceramic, and a loud "GOOSH".
"MEO-*gurgle!"
Wyckyd says, "Pleathe unhand my lackey. They awe hawd to wepwathe."
The raccoon mage winces at Jynx. "YOUR lackey? He's my lawyer I'll have you know, I'm here to let you know that I intend to sue you for stealing my idea." He bends down and picks up the snake's little satchel.
Jynx thrashes about inside the crate, spitting out some liquid. He jumps to the top and starts to climb out.
"He can't do you much good if you thwangle him," Wyckyd observes calmly.
Jynx looks very … white … now.
Fenter peers at the dangling Naga in his hands. "Hmm… that is a very good point. I'd never thought of a lawyer's need to breathe oxygen, I always assumed they were like fish or somesuch." He plunks the Naga down on top of another crate.
The Khatta spits out what's left of the liquid, and looks around wildly, unaware of his current, er, whiteness.
The Naga limply lands on the crate, gasping unconsciously for air.
Wyckyd says, "Ah. I thee that you have acquiwed a thidekick!"
Jynx comes to his senses, and remembers the bat. "Meow!" he returns angrily.
Wyckyd nods. "Gweetingth, Meow."
shaking his head, Fenter says, "Who… him? I've never seen that white Khatta before in my life. I wonder where young Feli has gone, I can hear him at least… "
Jynx blinks, white Khatta? He looks around puzzled, and not to mention a bit unnerved at being mocked at by the Eeee.
A few white vermites crawl out of the bleach, and stumble off. They don't blend into the shadows quite so well as their darker brethren.
Jynx stares at the nasty things curiously. White vermites yes, but no white cat to his knowledge. He looks back to the raccoon and bat, and shrugs.
Fenter clears his throat. "Anyhow. I still plan to sue you, so there." He sticks out his tongue.
"Now then," says Wyckyd, "Whewe wewe we? Ah yeth. You have intwuded upon my Pawathe of Powah. My Domithile of Dawknethh. My Thinithew Thanctuawy. And you can't thue me. I'm youw awch-nemethith, and an awch-villian. I am above the law."
Jynx crosses his arms and sighs, here we go again. He sits down on one of the smaller crates, and twitches his tail idly around.
The crate cracks slightly under Jynx's weight, but he doesn't fall in. Hmm. What's that smell? Chocolate? This crate is full of chocolates!
Jynx blinks at the crack, and quickly stands up, not wanting a repeat performance of the other crate.
The robed raccoon snorts. "You stole my idea. That's against the arch-nemists creed, how would you like it if I ran around with an army of vermites and suchlike… you don't even want to teach me your laugh!"
The Khatta smells the candy, looks to make sure bat-boy isn't looking, and opens the crate.
Wyckyd, oblivious to the Khatta's opening of the crate full of assorted chocolates, crosses his arms, facing down Fenter. "Nonthenthe. It wath my idea. You thimply GUETHED at it. You awe, aftew all, my awch-nemethith, and a vewy pewtheptive one. Othewwithe, you wouldn't be GOOD enough to be my awch-nemethith! I only thettle fow the betht."
Jynx takes one of the boxes and sneaks behind the crates, at least this trip won't be a total waste of time…
Fenter opens one glowing red eye, "You mean it?"
Jynx opens the box with delight, tail twitching in front of him happily. He starts in on the carmel ones first, those are his favorites.
The box of "Sokolatliers' Finest" is safely in the Khatta's grasp, full of an assortment of solid chocolates, intermixed with filled specialties and even some white candiesm, caramels and some with crunchy bits mixed in. Oh, it positively could make your teeth fall out just LOOKING at it!
This Khatta is doing more than looking at it, he's devouring it. "Mew!"
Wyckyd says, "Of couwthe. Now then … I believe it ith my time to expound upon my grand thcheme to take ovew the wowld, befowe I finithh you off with a deviouth twap fwom which you cannot pothhibly ethcape."
"Would you mind waiting a few moments until Feli gets back? I think one of your vermites dragged him off to chew on him a bit. Perhaps all that soap made him taste better." Fenter looks around for the Khatta.
The candy is exquisite in its sweetness, perfectly smooth, perfectly rich … Oh, to die for!
"Nonthenthe," says Wyckyd with a wave of his hand. "Now then. Ath you can thee, I have accumulated motht of the fragrant nethethhitieth of all Wephidim. Thoon, all Wephidim will thuffew fwom unpwethant body odor."
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" says the dark bat, cackling cruelly at his vicious plot.
Jynx gobbles down the few remaining pieces (except for the ones filled with that pink stuff, those are nasty), and sighs in bliss. He puts the box down, wipes off his mouth, then creeps back to the others.
As Jynx wipes his mouth, surely he can't help but notice that his hand is awfully … white.
Except for the chocolate stains, of course…
Wyckyd boasts, "All Wephidim will wwithe in agony, clutching at theiw notheth, dethpewate for delivewanthe fwom thith Apocalypthe of Awomatic Anthiety!"
"It doesn't suffer from unplesant body odor now?" Fenter asks, pausing to sniff at himself.
The bla-, er, white Khatta freezes, eyes wide as he stares at his paw…
The raccoon bends down and whispers to the white Khatta. "You wouldn't have happened to have seen my friend, Feli any where around here? He's about your height, your build, black fur, and he scowls a lot."
Wyckyd shrugs. "Thewe awe alwayth exthepthions. In any cathe, no, I don't know of any Feli. I'm thuwe my minionth will deal with him."
Jynx just stares at his hand,but then slooooowly looks up at the raccoon… "MEOW!!" The cat jumps up and hisses a storm, scrubbing at his fur wildly.
Fenter says, "Alright. So, are we at the trap part yet?"
Frowning at Jynx, the chaos mage says, "Now now lad… that's what you get for having white fur. It gets soiled easily. You should have gone and dyed it black or something like that nice Feli fellow."
"Ah yeth. Thank you fow weminding me. You awe thuch a good awch-nemethith. Thinthe I have wevealed my deviouth planth to you, I mutht now eliminate you and youw thidekick." Wyckyd rubs his hands together, grinning fangily. "Towawd that end, I have cweated … the Pit … of DOOM!" *BADAM!* A dramatic sound eminates from one of the tunnels, generated by an unknown source. (Probably vermite-powered.)
Jynx stops scrubbing at his sicklingly snow white fur, and looks daggers at the raccoon. He starts to hiss and advance on him…
"Jolly good," Fenter replies. "shall I go hurl myself into it or would you rather I be dragged kicking and screaming?"
Wyckyd frowns at Jynx. "Now, now … the thidekick ith not thuppothed to attack my awch-nemethith … ow have I managed to cowwupt you to join me in Dawkthide?" He smiles evilly at this notion, perhaps an idea forming in his head. "Aha! A new appwentithe!"
Jynx, claws out, stops after hearing the bat, and turns to face him, "REOWR!"
"What… do YOU want to throw me into the pit of doom?" the raccoon asks the advancing Khatta. "I'm sure Wyckyd wouldn't mind."
Jynx turns back to the Rath'ani and nods the affirmative, then points to the Eeee in an 'him too' gesture.
"Ah!" says the bat, looking somewhat disappointed. "Vewy well. A moment of indethithion, then. But I don't want to delay fow you to conthidew which thide you awe on. I want to uthe my new deviouth devithe of death. The … PIT OF DOOM!" *BADAM!*
The white Khatta looks around, where in the heck is that sound comming from?
Fenter nods his head. "Um… is it alright if the Khatta throws me in? He seems to have his hopes up really high for it. I mean… I know that being an evil badguy and all you're supposed to dash people's hopes, but perhaps in this case… ?"
Jynx simply crosses his arms and plops down angrily, staring in disgust at his now white tail.
Wyckyd says, "Hmm. I thuppothe that would wowk, but that ith not pawt of my deviouth plan. Hmm. Could you pewchanthe thtand ovew on that white thiwcle painted on the floow? That ith whewe you may delivew youw defiant thpeech about how I'll nevew get away with thith, et thetewa, et thetewa."
"Of course, of course. Anything to oblige." the raccoon wanders over to the indicated white circle and clears his throat.
There is a spot on the floor obligingly painted in white. It looks like the white spot is painted on some sort of wooden trap door, with several cords reaching across the room to it. It takes a bit of stepping not to trip on the cords, but it's not that difficult. Wyckyd patiently waits for Fenter's defiant (and dramatic) speech.
Jynx stays put, and shakes his head vigorously.
The chaos mage 'coon yells defiantly, "You'll never get away with this, Wyckyd! All of Sinai shall unite under the banner of foul body odor and defeat you so that they may again smell the aroma of freedom!"
Wyckyd hisses angrily, hiding behind a swirl of his dark cloak. "Ah! Bwave wowds, but now, my awch-nemethith, I will theal youw fate … by condemning you to … the PIT OF DOOM!" *BADAM!*
He pulls at a lever nearby. The wooden trap door under Fenter's feet creaks a bit, but nothing happens.
"Oh bugger. It's got a hitch in it. I'll fix that, it's probably just stuck." Fenter begind jumping up and down on the trapdoor beneath him.
Jynx grumblemews, occasionally scrubbing at his fur to see if he can get the whiteness off. He sighs as he realizes its permanent, then watches the other two, what a couple of kooks.
*creak* The trapdoor, with a bit of encouragement, obligingly pops open … dropping the 'coon into darkness below!
Thw white Khatta blinks widely as the Rath'ani dissappears, then looks up at Wykyd curiously.
There's a raspberry sound from the darkness below, as the raccoon impacts on something squishy and full of gas. By the smell … it must have been a dead adolescent Waashu. Wyckyd is resourceful, you have to grant him that…
"EYYYYIIIIIIiiiiiieeeee!!!" the raccoon screams obligingly as he falls. His hat hovers in the air and then tumbles down after him.
Wyckyd rears back, laughing raucously. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
There's a pause, and then Fenter's voice comes up from the pit. "Um… now what?"
Jynx pads over to the side of the trapdoor and looks down. His nose scrunches up in disgust as the odor follows the sound.
Wyckyd says, "Now, you fathe youw DOOM! You may twemble in tewwow! You wewe doing THUCH a good job of it jutht a moment ago."
The gas dissipates, leaving the raccoon in pitch black darkness. At least, that would be the case for normal folks.
However, thanks to their amazing vision (and apparently a good source of ultraviolet ambient light somehow making its way in through some of the hatches leading into the chamber), it is evident that the pit has a few cages with fuzzy and cute critters in them.
"But it doesn't feel doomed in here… just squishy." comes the reply from the pit. There's another smaller raspberry noise as the raccoon squishes the wasshu a bit more.
"DEAD?" squeaks a voice, echoed by a chorus of others.
Jynx blinks, he's heard that sound before…
Fenter peers up at the cages. "Aww… what adorable little things. Do they taste good?"
The cages are held shut by cords … but little chitinous pendulum blades hover over each cord. The cords reach up, and over pulleys, across the chamber, to where some vermites are busily running in little wooden wheels … causing the pendulum blades to slowly rock back and forth, rubbing against the cords holding the cages shut.
"BWAHAHAHHAHAAHA!" roars Wyckyd. "They thall tathte YOU, onthe they awe fweed!"
Jynx sets his ears back at the laugh. He stands up and walks over to the Eeee. Arms crossed defiantly, he makes a stand for the raccoon. "Mew!"
"I still don't feel doomed. Your pit is quite inadequate." the raccoon's voice comes up from the pit. "For one thing, I could use something besides this dead thing to sit on and ponder my impending fate."
As for the rest of the contents of the pit, there are a few barbed-looking armatures that wave back and forth menacingly, but not very effectively, unless Fenter for some reason decides to obligingly go over and ram himself against the spiky bits and hold still to get gnawed at by the other moving parts. Plus, there is a large hatch that is labelled in thickly painted letters (thick enough to be felt under relief), "SECRET ESCAPE HATCH – AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY."
"Mew?" responds the Eeee. "What kind of thpeech ith that?" He walks closer to the pit. "What? INADEQUATE? How ungwateful! Well, what ITH it mithing, Mithtew Picky?"
"Well you could jolly well start with something more comfortable to sit on!" Fenter yells. "A comfy chair, or a pillow, something that's comfortable enough so I won't be distracted as I ponder my impending demise."
"Oh! Well … you AWE my awch-nemethith. All wight." Wyckyd makes a commanding gesture to his vermites. "My minionth! Acquiwe a pillow and a comfy chaiw! IMMEDIATELY!"
Little vermites scurry up in swarms through the various hatches and slides and cracks, disappearing to who-knows-where.
"Much obliged." the doomed raccoon cherrily says. He whistles to himself.
Jynx shudders as the squirmy things crawl about. "Meow!" He objects.
In impressively short order, the vermites come back, bearing pillows and chairs. No, they don't match. They are immediately sent hurtling over the rim of the pit, down to the bottom.
"That ith enough," Wyckyd proclaims to his vermite minions.
Fenter's ears perk, he may not recognise Jynx with his new fur color… but the sound of his voice is familiar. "Do you want to hop in and join me in the pit of doom, Feli? There's lots of Vermites in her-" his voice is abruptly cut off as a chair strikes him square on the noggin. There's a few more crashing noises, and then finally a much more disoriented voice floats up, "… thank you… "
"My pleathuwe," Wyckyd politely responds, then retires to his soapy throne, brushing a few vermites out of the way first.
Jynx walks back over to the pit and looks down, "Mew!" he says negatively. Funny, meowing can convey so much meaning…
There is a cracking noise from somewhere in the pit, as a couple of the comfy (well, not when they're landing on your head, anyway) chairs snaps some of the fragile mechanisms of doom. "Dead?" queries a voice from the darkness.
"Oooooooh Mister Wyckyyyyyd." Fenter sings up, his voice is shaky and horribly off-key. "Not to be ungrateful or anything… but I still don't quite feel doomed. I feel like I've been clobbered by some fine furniture, and it's awfully dark in here… "
Wyckyd simmers as he gets up from his throne. "Well, you'we thuppothed to bwood upon youw IMPENDING doom! If you wewe doomed all at onthe, you wouldn't have time to conthidew youw cwevew plan of ethcape! And then what thowt of awch-villain would I be?"
"But, if you INTHITHT," Wyckyd relents, "I thuppothe I can make it wowthe."
Jynx sighs, and just wants to get out of here. He thinks a bit…
Fenter seems to have not even noticed the blaring escape route behind him. "Well how am I supposed to brood on my doom if I have a headache… and I can't even SEE my doom well enough to ponder it properly."
"Hmph," Wyckyd responds, then claps his hands together. "Minionth! Bwing ILLUMINATHION! And headache wemedieth."
There is a ripple amongst the vermite minions, as they scamper out on errands again.
"Thank y-YEOWCH!!!" the raccoon's words are cut off as a cute little furry thing decides his tail maight taste good.
Some of them scamper across the ceiling, and open up some hatches that reveal some shafts leading upward, letting in more light – though it's still a bit dim. (After all, if that's sunlight, it IS sunset outside… ) The light reveals a cute little critter with his jaws clamped on Fenter's tail, the critter's little paws scrambling wildly. And, there are a few chitinous pendulum blades working away at cords holding the other cages closed. And, there's that hatch that says "SECRET ESCAPE" on it.
Plus, a fine assortment of upturned chairs and fluffy pillows. And a big dead (and mostly flat now) waashu.
"Much better." Fenter beams. "Although… "
"NOW WHAT?" Wyckyd fumes, as several vermites skitter past, dropping boxes marked "HEADACHE MEDICINE" down the pit.
The raccoon points to the boxes. "I can't take these on an empty stomach. It'll give me ulcers… or tummy rumbles like that Guy-fox in the Bazaar had."
Jynx remembers the crates, and gets an idea. Running over to them, he tries to push one towards the opening.
"I need something to eat before I take these… and something to wash them down with." Fenter says.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" responds Wyckyd. "If only I could obtain that thecwet elixthew to cauthe intethtinal infowtitude … HEY!"
A partially emptied crate of fine chocolates tumbles into the pit.
"Mew!" comes the warning.
"No, no, not CHOCOLATETH. That would … HEY! That ith fow AMBEWGWITH! You imbethile! I'll get you fow that! MINIONTH! THIETHE HIM!" Wyckyd gestures dramatically.
The raccoon looks up… just in time to get a facefull of chocolate covered crate. *WHAM*
Wyckyd adds, "And fetch thome thuthtenanthe fow my awch-nemethith… "
Jynx just hisses at the Eeee, and tries to dump a few more in for the raccoon to climb up and out on.
A crate of flasks of "Eau de la Skunk" falls into the pit. *CRASH* *TINKLE* *BAD AROMA*
There are several alarmed squeaks of "DEAD?" from within the pit.
Then, they are followed by cries of "KILL!" *chomp* *nar* *clamp* *bite* *inflict pain*
Jynx stops pushing one of the crates and scrunches his nose, perhaps he should read what the are first…
A few vermites skitter in, and start dropping sustenance into the bit. Several snapping, squirming centipedes, some half-eaten sandwiches (Vermites get hungry, too!), and an assortment of Bazaar offerings, much of it looking stepped-on.
"You were going to give your girlfriend THIS?? *ow* Well I *ouch* wouldn't want to *OOCH* date you either if you *ack* gave me stinky candy either!" the raccoon says, kicking off fuff'nars.
Wyckyd leans over, scrunching his nose. "Have you figuwed out a clevew plan of ethcape yet?"
Jynx blinks, and sets his ears back in sympathetic pain. He then notices the Eeee looking over the side…
"No… I'm thinking about how I'd really like to have a bath right now." Fenter replies.
The fuff'nars make muffled noises that sound remotely like "KILL!"
A swarm of vicious-looking … okay, highly-unpleasant-looking, at least … vermites converges, zeroing in on the Khatta.
Jynx, not noticing the vermites, nonchalantly walks over to the bat, and stands next to him.
*skitterskitterskitter* The swarm of vermites comes ever closer! Oh! IMPENDING DOOM! You can almost cut it with a KNIFE, it's so overbearing!
Jynx backs up a bit, eyes square on the Eeee's back and paws up in a rather shovingly looking manner… then he notices the vermites. "MYAH!"
Fenter shouts up, "I SAID… I would like to have a BATH right now! I think I'd like to have my lawyer as well. Some of the food here violates Bazaar health codes."
Wyckyd swirls around. "BWAHAHAHAHHAA! A dawing plan … but not good enough! THEIZE HIM, MY MINIONTH!" The vermites don't precisely "seize" Jynx. It's more like just sort of swarming over him and bowling along with the force of countless fuzzy bodies. Not the most pleasant (or socially acceptable) means of transportation.
Wyckyd, distracted from the swarm of vermites bowling Jynx about the room, absently commands his vermites, without putting much thought into the matter, "A bath fow my awch-nemethith!"
"MEEEEWUUUWWWW!"
The garter woozily gets up from the crate which he previously collapsed on. "Did ssssomeone call for a lawy – AAHHHHH!" He cries out as he is swept up by a wave of vermites.
Speaking of waves … there is a rushing sound. Wyckyd looks up. "Wha – ?"
Jynx claws at the nasty little vermin, then perks an ear, he's heard that before…
Fenter obliviously whistles to himself, pausing to yelp at the fuff'nar who is still doggedly gnawing on his tail.
From one of the slides, water cascades into the room, sweeping vermites and bars of soap along with it. "SQUEEEEEE!" go the vermites, wriggling their little antennae and legs.
"MEEEEWWWWW!" Goes the white Khatta along with the vermites."
The lawyer snake collides with a large conglomerate bar of soap which used to be a throne. "GACK!"
Fenter climbs up on the back of one of the chairs as his pit starts to fill with water. "I'm not bathing in THAT… it's got vermites in it. It's not sanitary."
Wyckyd, for lack of anything better to say, laughs defiantly. "BWAHAHAHAHA! You'll nevew … Oh, cuwtheth! Foiwed again!" And then he's swept along in a cascade of soapy water.
Jynx claws at one of the heavy crates, trying to prevent himself from being swept along.
The room soon fills with a maelstrom of soapy water, a few of the crates (and comfy chairs and fuff'nar cages) floating in the midst of it, most of it sweeping up one of the adjoining chutes.
Clinging on is no use, as the crates are swept along with the current. "MEEEEEEEWWWW!"
"AIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!I'mtooyoungtodieagain!" Fenter howls as he's carried off on his chair by the current.
Several Bazaar-goers are gathered around at the base of the clock tower, minding their own business (or businesses, for especially entrepreneurial and overly busy Kavis), when suddenly one of the sewer access hatches (one of those not numbered or sanctioned by the Sewer Authority) bursts forth with a gush of soapy water, and several crates … as well as a chair bearing a Rath'ani (and several soaked fuff'nars) and another crate carrying a bleach-white Khatta.
The water loses its momentum, allowing the crates and chairs to come to a rest in the middle of a street intersection, amidst a number of dumbfounded Bazaargoers and merchants.
Jynx coughs and sputters, knocking some of the soapy water from his ears.
Fenter staggers to his feet, standing in his chair, several waterlogged fuff'nars still tenaciously clinging to him. He opens his mouth to speak, and ends up hiccuping a big bubble instead.
An excited-looking Skeek races over to one of the crates. "My perfumes! They've been recovered! Oh joy!" He rushes over to Fenter to hug him … then reels back as the various intermixed aromas assault him. He faints. *slosh*
Jynx stands up and shakes himself off. Its night and he can still see his fur… how weird, and uncomfortable.
The raccoon steps from his throne and slips on a bar of soap. He tumbles down from the mountain of crates, sending another spray of bubbles flying into the air. Finally he hits the ground with a soggy sounding *splat* and pulls himself up to his feet.
The Khatta and Rath'ani seem to have drawn quite an audience…
Coughing up another stream of bubbles, Fenter finally manages to choke out, "And for my NEXT trick… *hiccup*" another bubble floats off into the night sky.
