"Quite the day, isn't it?"

A gray-robed, scarlet-scaled serpent looks up from the letter he's reading (rather than the stack of ungraded essays right next to it) under the shade of a large woven wicker umbrella, as Lapi in star-spangled vestments sets a tray down at the marble-topped table and draws up the only wooden chair at the table (which the scarlet serpent, being a Naga, isn't using). "Yes, Mage Mystico," the serpent hisses at last, flicking his tongue disdainfully in the manner that non-Nagai so rarely catch, "and the new news from Rephidim isn't any more heartening, either."

"Oh?" says the Lapi, completely oblivious to the other mage's annoyance, as he shuffles his chair, his tail finding a gap in the back to comfortably poke through. With trembling fingers, he lifts a steaming mug of mateh from his tray, then nods. "Do tell, Mage Shift."

The serpent frowns slightly, inwardly regretting dropping the hook, and thus being denied an easy chance to quickly end the conversation with the other dream mage in his patched and (to his Nagai mind) clown-like attire. "The new Knightly Orders of Rephidim seem to be off to a rather unpromising start – losing several of their 'candidates' on various risky quests. Not that anyone should be surprised; after all, I'm fairly sure they chose these quests because they were dangerous, but Rephidimite nobility, I suppose they're too used to reading steamy pulp novels, and expect their heroes and heroines to always 'beat the odds'."

"You'd need a Chaos Mage for that!" the Lapi pipes up, smiling faintly.

"Quite," Mage Shift hisses. "Seems our Sphere's own heroine of interest, the Lady de Bellefeuille, isn't even in the running."

"She isn't?" the Lapi squeaks. "I mean, I didn't even know she was – or that is, wasn't – I mean, that it's even an issue that she's not." One ear droops, as the insides of both ears pinken at his own verbal fumbling.

The snake doesn't even look at the rabbit. "She was offered the chance, Faust reports, but turned it down. It might have been some sort of romantic difference. The buzz in Rephidim was that she was out shooting creekers with Lord Deluke of the Pink – a highly-profiled noble instrumental in the organization of the new Orders – and that there was some sort of spat there. In any case, Lady de Bellefeuille left Rephidim, taking a holiday, while Lord Pink went off and got himself killed in the Savan … "

"How terrible!" the Lapi exclaims.

"… by blood flies," the snake adds emotionlessly.

The Lapi blanches, casting an ill look down at his mug.

"Well, at least everything's not going badly for our savior," Mage Shift says, glancing to the Lapi. "Seems that Inquisitrix Faith, who was sniffing around the de Bellefeuille Estate, is now Investigator Faith, and the case is closed."

"I forget," the Lapi says, looking abashed. "Is that good or bad?"

"Depends on whether you're Lady de Bellefeuille or Investigator Faith. The Investigator was demoted," the serpent explains, with a typical expression of Nagai longsuffering.

"Sorry," Mystico says, grinning embarrassedly. "Investigator, Inquisitor, Inquisitrix, Grand Arch-Mega-Techno-Decapitatrix … it's hard to keep up with all the Temple titles."

"And here with the new Orders, they'll probably make a few more just to keep you on your coi – toes," the Nagai hisses. "In any case, Faith's supervisor, an Arch-Inquisitor Hrolf, was demoted as well, and sent off on the 'Remote Outpost Tour'. What with Faith troubling a known heroine, and a noble at that, for defending herself against Babelite cultists, it's a wonder she's still in the Inquisition at all. They must have at least partially blamed Hrolf."

"Well, Hrolf shouldn't feel too bad," the Lapi says. "What with, you know, the Knights Templar splitting off, there are fewer remote outposts to check up on."

"Well, that's what he gets for letting his people run amuck and mess with the nobility," Mage Shift mutters, "though I wonder, what with these rumors of Investigator Faith meeting with some street gang tart at the Cafe Rose. Seems there was a raid on this gang's headquarters recently, and absolutely nothing was found there. … Perhaps she's just bitter at her demotion, what with certain others rising in the ranks." He flicks his tongue, peeking up over the letter. "Seems an Tsagairt got promoted to Arch-Inquisitor."

"An Tsagairt? Gaelan an Tsagairt?" the Lapi suddenly squeaks, his ears flattening back, and several drops sloshing from his mug of mateh right onto his robes. (He hardly notices, and from the stains there, this happens often.) "Th-that-that thug?"

"Oh yes," Mage Shift hisses, his expression unreadable. "My apologies. You ran afoul of him in the Bazaar, did you not? So absent of me to forget."

The rabbit shudders visibly, shakily setting his mug back down. "I s-still have n-n-nightmares… "

"Tch. That should hardly be a problem for our kind," the snake hisses, drawing out the "our" a bit more than necessary.

"Er … well, go on, then. Anything else from Mage Faust?" Mystico encourages, and tries to distract himself by twirling an orange gnawstick in his mateh, then chewing anxiously on the end.

"Yes. We have one of the dream pendants now," Mage Shift says, "thanks to a young lady by the name of Anisa Snowshoe."

"Ohhhhh," Mage Mystico says, grinning lopsidedly. "I remember seeing her. She was the one handing out those cards for the apothecarist to the new Journeymen at the ball."

"Yes, well, Faust traded off the old gym equipment on the old grounds in exchange," Mage Shift says, raising an eyebrow, impressed at Faust's thriftiness, "and she promptly moved in with the apothecarist."

"Oh," Mystico says, eartip drooping in disappointment. "Isn't she kind of young for him?"

Mage Shift just looks at Mystico for a moment, biting his tongue about any remarks concerning cauldrons and kettles. "Well, we'll see how well that holds up, what with that shipment of 'mother's tears' going down over Himar. If I'm not mistaken, that's a primary component of 'Cold Shower,' yes?"

The Lapi's ears flick nervously at the mention of "Cold Shower," but then, as a thought strikes him, he alternately grins, then frowns even more deeply. "Well, that could cause a lot of trouble for … certain individuals in Rephidim."

"Yes, a lot of Lapis may be going without their favorite … cologne," the Naga hisses. "Yet another reason why we're better off here in Caroban, I suppose. Oh, and here's another: another attempt to win that prize for an envelope-less airship flew over the Docks – this time built and piloted by Titanians. Of course, it exploded, though they hired a Chaos mage to put off the explosion a little longer. Care to guess exactly which Chaos mage they hired for the job?"

Mystico groans, looking as if he already has a pretty good idea. "Chaos mages are insane! Flying Titanians! First Ones help us! What do we teach them, anyway?"

"Not so loud with that," the Naga hisses, glancing about. "You know how Dean Fyiara seems to have a knack for showing up at a moment like that."

The Lapi is so distracted by his line of thought that he doesn't even look around to see if the snake might be right. "And she's even worse! Why, I heard that Mage Hymu accused her right in Enchanted Cuisine of harboring a horned demonic spirit monster!"

The Naga flicks his tongue in annoyance. "And who, pray tell, would overhear that in Enchanted Cuisine?"

The Lapi pauses for a moment, while his mind works over this, then says, "Well, maybe it wasn't Enchanted Cuisine. Maybe it was … that … other place." He waves his hands vaguely. "But that's beside the point. We really do have a growing problem with rogue mages and this whole business about spirits, and all these conferences and meetings we're attending won't solve the problem. Why, just look at Envoy. Our Envoy!"

"I'd expected a little more loyalty from you not to bring up her name," the Naga hisses.

Mystico looks hurt. "If not for her, I'd be dead," he says, "but everybody knows about that speech she made in Babel, condemning us – us – as if we were responsible for the Boomer, and for all the Babelites are doing to themselves with the help of their First-Ones-forsaken priestesses. Here she is, defending the Yodhrephath … and they go and put on display the deck of a ship they somehow cursed so that several men sank right through the planks … and then solidified there! What a way to go – and they're just showing off the corpses, saying, 'This is what happens to you if you cross us!'"

"The Watch is on the lookout for Envoy now, you know," Shift adds. "A hunter in Abu Dhabi reported that she's on a quest to animate a giant metal dragon golem on Abaddon, in order to 'repair her mind'. Not just an elemental … this is going to be self-aware. And she told him all this herself."

Mystico's ears drop even more. "You're pulling my ears. The reports said she was in her right mind… "

"This is not joke, and no rumor, either," Shift says. "If you'd read the bulletins more regularly, you'd know about those posted on her. She's not merely expelled from the Guild now – the hunters are after her, and they've been authorized to use any means necessary to detain her. And if she resists… "

Mystico shakes his head. "If the Watch was on the lookout, then how'd she get past this hunter that she supposedly spoke to? Why didn't he grab her right there?"

"Had to check with his superiors," Shift says. "He was only authorized to watch her to make sure she didn't cast any spells; this 'golem' business was a new development."

"Well, she'd best be careful going to the other worlds," Mystico says. "You heard about that fellow who tried to smuggle bullets in through the Gateway, didn't you?" He puts his hands together, then draws them apart. "Boom! Can't be very safe there, with people trying stunts like that. Really, they ought to just close the Gate down. Monsters coming through and all that, like those Abaddon hogs, eating up whole herds on the Golden Peninsula. They're a menace, and spreading all over. Might very well take over the whole continent one day!"

"At least we're quite safe up here," Mage Shift hisses.

"Oh, but are we?" the Lapi says, leaning forward. "Why, I heard that a ghost ship was spotted off Nagai, over the Sea of the Pale, captained by a monstrous shadow, crewed by mutants, and it laid waste to a whaling vessel, leaving only one survivor! And guess where the Chaos mages say Caroban is drifting?"

"Listen to yourself," the red-scaled snake hisses. "It attacked a whaling vessel. You're talking about a naval confrontation … not an airship. I think we have little personally to worry about."

"Oh," the Lapi says. "I keep forgetting they still use sea ships on the surface."

"You've been in Rephidim too long," Shift mumbles.

"Well, yes, true, and now that you mention it," Mystico says, his ears perking back up, "I've been thinking about a possible change of venue. You know, with the whole Dream Realm crisis well behind us, I really think the College doesn't need me quite so much here anymore. I heard that there might be a new guild hall opening up in Lamu – you know, the place where they found those hedge wizards practicing fire and shadow magic?"

"I'm generally familiar with the place, yes," Mage Shift says.

"Well, I was thinking about applying for a transfer there," Mystico says. "Either that, or Gallis. I understand that they're becoming a lot more civil there – Why, the 'Surete des les Boulevardes' finally convinced the Marquis of Fauxpas to ban the Miles Mortant within city limits!"

"… so they just move it to Fleaufille," Mage Shift counters. "They announced they'll be holding their first race in years."

The Lapi waves his hand. "That's not the point."

"Of course not." The snake looks to the rabbit expectantly.

"Er … " The Lapi fumbles, losing his train of thought when he catches the snake's eyes, and then looks down at his now-empty mug and largely shredded gnaw-stick. "Well, really, time's a wasting. I should probably move on. I'll see you later."

"I'm sure you will," the snake hisses, as the rabbit rushes off. "Good day," he says to the rabbit's back, then turns to look back at the letter. "Note to self: bring a yiffle to light reading next time. That always seems to dissuade interruptions… "